Oh no! A rat!

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Lisa finally got her dog. Since it is not an unstoppable killing machine, I refuse to take it for walks. A girl’s got to have standards. Then again, it does have a problem with the whole “you’re supposed to pee either in the toilet or out in the yard” thing, so, you know, we have something in common.

Uh oh, someone come change my chair. I just had an accident.

It’s a good thing that I’m not wearing any pants right now, or they’d be ruined. Oh! I could buy yellow pants! But what about the brown stains? That’s a stumper.

8 Responses to “Oh no! A rat! ”

  1. I’ll just pick up some Depends for you while I’m out buying pull ups for the boy and urine smell remover for the dog. Thank God Sara is around to change you.

    My heart wants a German shepherd but my spirit is too lazy to take care of one. Big dogs shed, need at least 45 minutes of walking a day and make bigger poops.

    Ergo, a terrier poodle mix.

    I’m a 33 year old with a grandma dog.

  2. Don’t you take Dodi for 45 minutes of walking a day anyway?

  3. If a German shepherd is anything like a Husky, that would TWO 45-minute walks a day, at least.

  4. Huskies are known for their ability to travel great distances, no?

    Wait a minute, poodles have competed in the Iditarod:
    http://home.gci.net/~poodlesleddog/

  5. I have taken Dodi for 45 minutes of walks a day, sometimes even more. But the point is that I don’t HAVE TO. For her breed and size they recommend 25 minutes a day. She got that today, barely.

    Poodles were originally used as retrievers. The hunters clipped the dog’s thick coat to help him swim, leaving hair on the leg joints to protect them from extreme cold and a ball on the end of their tail to help the hunter see the dog swimming in the water. So that dorky poodle haircut is the fault of mullet sporting hunters. Big surprise there.

    The French capitalized on the breed’s high intelligence, trainability, and innate showmanship, and made the Poodle into a circus performer. My love of clowns has overflowed to circus dogs!

    Poodle’s talents include: retrieving, agility, watchdogging, competitive obedience, and performing tricks.

    Hmm. . . tricks. Well, she already knows how to search out your farts as well as sit on command (some of the time). It can only go up from there.

  6. So that’s why our husky-malamute mix destroyed everything in our house! We didn’t take it on two 45 minute walks per day.

    I still don’t know why it ate my favourite art print… other than it probably smelled more like me than the other ones. That’s kind of a scary thought, actually.

  7. Zach, my dear,

    You must get out more. Although my husband took the dog on two one-hour walks a day, he still got into trouble at home. Huskies love to chew things, especially if bored, stressed, and underexercised. Our husky once ate a little sewing box that had a pin cushion under its lid. Stuck in to the pin cushion were needles and pins, which somehow weren’t consumed. Towards the end of his life, his favorite illegal objects of consumption were the contents of the bathroom wastebasket and dental floss.

  8. My parents barely ever took their rottweiler pit bull mix for a walk and in return he chewed on the furniture legs down to toothpicks. Man, I LOVED that dog. I finally had one I could run with, not like the pekingese my dad brought home years earlier.

    Training was a bitch though, especially after the 135 pound dog realized he was stronger than us. Literally, he was stronger than all of us put together. Man, those dogs can pull! My parents gave up on kennel training when we could no longer force him into it. After one time of being lured in with treats, nothing, even a dog in heat, could get him to go near it.

    He ruled the hose until my parents found a new owner for him. She was barely 5 feet tall, but had no problems with him since she trained horses for a living. I miss the big guy who was convinced he could curl up and be a lap dog. He was the cooliest.

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