Now that I bike to work most days again, my pants fall off if I don’t wear a belt and I think that I am in danger of developing a tan. Sarah is drenched in freckles and has almost as many pairs of flip-flops as regular shoes.

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We have met the enemy and he is us


Peer pressure is a horrible thing. I got pressured into joining the facial hair challenge at work. I drew the Hulk Hogan.

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In Your Head, Zombie, Zombie, Zombie ie ie

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I had a birthday!

Contrary to the opinion of my father, my birthday was the 14th of August. Oh, the estrangement is not over you bastard, it ain’t over.

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Dear Media Temple, Again

I very much appreciate your peace offering of two shirts, a coffee mug, and three lanyards, but what I really want is an apology and a definition of a GPU in finite terms.

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New Hat

An unexpected benefit of visiting Donald’s house (besides, you know, great company and great food) was the gift of a hat and some isotoner gloves (perfect for driving).

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I Want You To Vote For Me

Well, really, I just want my loyal readers to vote on which photo of me I should use for personal ads and/or

Click here!

Wow, people sure like to take pictures of me drinking.

You can also go here and vote for older pictures of me that generally do not feature me drinking.

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You’re Nearly Dead

I’ve been leaving a drunken, hungover, bitter, depressed mess all over my website. I must rectify the situation with an erudite post that enlightens and edifies my audience. Instead I will post pictures.

Cake Woman made me a cake. Finally, someone who gets me.

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Five Year Plan To Get A Date

A work in progress. This is based on a fiscal year of September to September

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What Do You Want For Your Birthday?

Lisa asked me what I wanted for my birthday. When Melissa used to ask me what I wanted, my response was always the same:

A Blow Job

Somehow I don’t think that would be appropriate to ask for from Lisa.

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