You’re Nearly Dead

I’ve been leaving a drunken, hungover, bitter, depressed mess all over my website. I must rectify the situation with an erudite post that enlightens and edifies my audience. Instead I will post pictures.

Cake Woman made me a cake. Finally, someone who gets me.

Noah made this out of orange juice and pretzels, and I almost threw up everything that had gone into my mouth for the last week — except for the pirate. Never mind that.

Lisa cleaned the fish tank. I couldn’t bring myself to turn on the stove for even a second to make this picture better.

30 candles give off a lot of heat when all lit together. Thanks to Lisa for the pic.

Always with the horns, that one.

I got this stuff for my birthday. Oh, Lisa and Stan, you know that I don’t know how to read!

This was under the Christmas tree. It’s sure to impress the ladies on Northrop Mall. I can hear the song now. “Ladies won’t you get in my pants!”

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It might impress them even more if I were to wear women’s sunglasses all the time. Look, I’m bloated and crampy!

So, the world didn’t end. In fact, despite feeling like I’d been beaten with a hose all night it was a good day. The pancakes and bloody marys at the C.C. Club were everything I could have wanted. I got to nap all day and then have dinner with my family, where I received an embarrassing bounty of gifts.

Yesterday was equally as awesome. I didn’t bring my camera, so you’ll just have to be satisfied with the news that Paul, Ben and Peter came for Heiruspecs, Trent was there for whatever, Andy (ajs` on irc) was there with a hip flask of vodka and a slug of friends, Rex Sorgatz from IBS (and was there and not only vaguely recognized me, but remembered my half-assed comment on one mnspeak story.

Lisa and Stan showed up and replaced the t-shirt that I had spilled red wine on. I spent the next hour or so screaming for Har Mar Superstar to take off his pants. Then we got in the car and went somewhere else, then somewhere else still. I might recount the tale later, if there is any interest.

6 Responses to “You’re Nearly Dead ”

  1. I am getting Errored: Four Oh Threed on that pants song.

  2. and then don’t forget the embarassing, drunken, late-night ramblings on aim. :-p hehe

  3. Hooray for drunken, embarrassing conversations on AIM! I already apologized. It could be worse, I could have walked four or five blocks to get signal on my cell phone and drunk dialed everyone on my cell phone, including Clean Water Action whatever the hell they are called and like to call me all the fucking time even though I’d rather be spending my money on booze. Well, the summer of booze is officially over, so I’d rather be spending my money on pizza at work, plus the free red pepper flakes. MMmmm, red pepper flakes. They’re nature’s bounty.

  4. hi, im from poland (central europe), i accident occur on this site when i was looking sth about Holy Diver
    (sorry for my english) [nevermind]
    When i see your face i think that you so happy man! You’ve a many great ideas and wishes;)
    (”A pony,A monkey (…)A cowbell”) = this is great! wow, you’ve sense of humour =)
    because i dont more time i cant read full your blog but i thing you’ve more and more and moreeee concept
    that may more operative and bit lucid,ok?

    have a good time
    and trzymaj sie cieplo ;)


  5. malutka3010, that is the most amazing comment ever!

  6. thanx;)

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