Visiting The Diabolical Bismarck
I may survive this weekend yet.
Especially since Sarah’s mother poured me a rum and coke almost right away. Mmm… coke.
We hit the road by 8:10am, and were here just before four. I will be sharing a room with the groom and one of Sarah’s male cousins. Apparently there will be a “party of the bacheloring” tonight. I have no idea what the plans will be, but they are lucky to have a responsible adult like me along.
I’m gonna go have a rum.
And coke.
Maybe just some rum.
“Out here we call it ‘grog.’”
You said they didn’t have the internets in North Dakota! So, what, are you computering from your interstatal intergalatic roadwarriorcapsule?
I always saw coke as a molestation of a fine pirate tradition.
-Thomas
Mom: actually, the hotel is an embassy, so it has a bit of civilized soil within this vast wasteland. Within one day I had a desire to purchase a cowboy hat. Maybe it was because I was wearing bucking bronco underpants. Um, maybe TMI.
King Kwong: normally I would not inflict Coke on booze, but Captain Morgan insults my delicate sensibilities for being so… cough syrup esque. I’m more of a Tequila man, anyway. I’m like a Mexican pirate or something.
Told you there would be some sort of booze. After all, it is the vast empty plains of North Dakota. The only way to survive is to drink copiously.
There was an open bar of alcohol in my parents’ hotel room: Captain Morgan, champagne, Long Island ice tea mix, vodka, beer, schnapps of some sort, Bailley’s, etc. etc.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QW1BJWAnZC8
Have you ever met a girl that you tried to date
But a year to make love she wanted you to wait
Let me tell ya a story of my situation
I was talkin to this girl from the u.s. nation
The way that I met her was on tour at a concert
She had long hair and a short miniskirt
I just got onstage drippin’, pourin’ with sweat
I was walkin through the crowd and gues who I met
I whispered in her ear, come to the picture booth
So I can ask you some questions to see if you are a hundred proof
I asked her her name, she said blah-blah-blah
She had 9/10 pants and a very big bra
I took a couple of flicks and she was enthused
I said, how do you like the show?
She said, I was very amused
I started throwin bass, she started throwin back mid-range
But when I sprung the question, she acted kind of strange
Then when I asked, do ya have a man, she tried to pretend
She said, no I dont, I only have a friend
Come on, Im not even goin for it
This is what Im goin sing
You, you got what I need but you say hes just a friend
And you say hes just a friend, oh baby
You, you got what I need but you say hes just a friend
But you say hes just a friend, oh baby
You, you got what I need but you say hes just a friend
But you say hes just a friend
So I took blah-blahs word for it at this time
I thought just havin a friend couldnt be no crime
cause I have friends and thats a fact
Like agnes, agatha, germaine, and jacq
Forget about that, lets go into the story
About a girl named blah-blah-blah that adored me
So we started talkin, getttin familiar
Spendin a lot of time so we can build up
A relationship or some undderstanding
How its gonna be in the future we was plannin
Everything sounded so dandy and sweet
I had no idea I was in for a treat
After this was established, everything was cool
The tour was over and she went back to school
I called every day to see how she was doin
Everytime that I ccalled her it seemed somethin was brewin
I called her on my dime, picked up, and then I called again
I said, yo, who was that? oh, hes just a friend
Dont gimme that, dont ever gimme that
Jus bust this
You, you got what I need but you say hes just a friend
And you say hes just a friend, oh baby
You, you got what I need but you say hes just a friend
But you say hes just a friend, oh baby
You, you got what I need but you say hes just a friend
But you say hes just a friend
So I came to her college on a surprise visit
To see my girl that was so exquisite
It was a school day, I knew she was there
The first semester of the school year
I went to a gate to ask where was her dorm
This guy made me fill out a visitors form
He told me where it was and I as on my way
To see my baby doll, I was happy to say
I arrrived in front of the dormitory
Yo, could you tell me where is door three?
They showed me where it was for the moment
I didnt know I was in for such an event
So I came to her room and opened the door
Oh, snap! guess what I saw?
A fella tongue-kissin my girl in the mouth,
I was so in shock my heart went down south
So please listen to the message that I say
Dont ever talk to a girl who says she just has a friend
Do you want me to make you a cowboy shirt? I could put rickrack on the front and stuff.
Yes.