O Ibuprofen, I’ve Missed You
I hurt my back yesterday, possibly by carrying my bike up the stairs from the basement of my apartment building. I left my 800mg ibuprofen tablets at home, so I swallowed most of the ibuprofen in the break room. Has it been six to eight hours yet? I want to take the rest of them.
I will drug you with prescription painkillers & muscle relaxants tonight, immediately after work! I promise you, it’s sheer mindless bliss.
If self-administered, use exactly as directed; do not increase dose or frequency. Adverse reactions can occur with overuse. Consult your prescriber before use if you have hypertension or heart failure. Do not take longer than 3 days for fever, or 10 days for pain without consulting medical advisor. Take with food or milk. While using this medication, do not use alcohol, excessive amounts of vitamin C, or salicylate containing foods (curry powder, prunes, raisins, tea, or licorice), other prescription or OTC medications containing aspirin or salicylate, or other NSAIDs without consulting prescriber. Maintain adequate hydration (2-3 L/day of fluids) unless instructed to restrict fluid intake. You may experience nausea, vomiting, gastric discomfort (frequent mouth care, small, frequent meals, chewing gum, sucking lozenges may help). GI bleeding, ulceration, or perforation can occur with or without pain. Stop taking medication and report ringing in ears; persistent cramping or stomach pain; unresolved nausea or vomiting; respiratory difficulty or shortness of breath; unusual bruising or bleeding (mouth, urine, stool); skin rash; unusual swelling of extremities; chest pain; or palpitations.
I’m just saying………
I think you need a chiropractor. :]
I would say “massage” but even I can’t afford a massage from me.