Jesse Mullan

A New Retaining Wall

Written on Sunday, the 11^th of May, 2008 at 8:59 pm and was filed under: Diversions

I received an email today:

Hey John

I have attached the sketch, If there is anything else I can do let me know.

Thank you,

Clint

To the best of my knowledge, I’m not in the market for retaining walls for my apartment, but I replied anyway, in my characteristic style. I await his response with baited breath.

Clint,

There is no way that those walls will keep out zombies. They must be
much taller and thicker, AND you completely left out the footings for
the gun emplacements. I know that your contention was that heavy
cannons in fixed firing points were less flexible than lighter and
more mobile weapons, but I think you’re forgetting about the
landscaping work that I had done to funnel shambling hordes of zombies
into narrow fire zones.

Oops, you were looking for John Mullan. That’s not me. I was
expecting a quote from a contractor and got yours by mistake. Would
you like to submit a competing quote for the work that I am to have
done to my home to guard against zombie attacks?

Thank you for your consideration,

Jesse Mullan

2 Responses to “A New Retaining Wall ”

1. 
   Mama Lisa said on May 12th, 2008 at 2:25 pm

   OMG “you forgot about the landscaping work that I had done to funned shambling hordes of zombies into narrow fire zones.” Wow.

2. 
   Jesse said on May 12th, 2008 at 3:25 pm

   I am pleased to aim.