Dear Gin and Tonic

Thank you for tasting like wonderful Christmas Trees.

I didn’t expect much out of today. I’m broke. My roommate’s sister was having an engagement party at our house which meant jazz and dance folks. They weren’t so bad once booze was in the picture. Not that they are normally bad, but you know how it goes when it’s friends of friends and stuff. Or something. Everyone was married. What is that about? How is a single guy supposed to hook up, yo? Married people do not have single friends to hook up their single friends with. Sigh.

HOLY DIVER! Three in the morning is a good time for Ronnie James Dio. I might just leave it repeating all night. Glorious!

Also: googling someone is supposed to be anonymous. If someone googles you, don’t bust them, for the love of Pete. Just don’t. Oh crap, I am caught! Hoisted by my own petard! That’s what I get for having my afternoon plans actually turn out to be evening plans and thusly ending up with an afternoon free with nothing to do. I’m not a serial killer! There’s only one body!

Ronnie James Dio, wash away my shame! What am I saying? That’s like trying to get out a ketchup stain with mustard.

Dear law enforcement and random girls who might come by: there are no bodies. Anymore.

No! There never were!

Oh man, I’m going to jail FOREVER!

Oooo ooooooo, yeah yeah
Holy Diver, You’ve been down too long in the midnight sea
Oh what’s becoming of me
Ride the tiger, You can see his stripes but you know he’s clean
Oh don’t you see what I mean

Gotta get awaaay Holy Diverrrrrrrrrr

Shiny diamonds
Like the eyes of a cat in the black and blue
Something is coming for you
Look out!

Race for the morning
You can hide in the sun ’till you see the LIGHT!
Oh we will pray it’s all right

Gotta get away get awaaaay
Between the velvet lies
There’s a truth that’s hard as steeeeeeel, yeah
The vision never dieeeiieeees
Life’s a never ending wheeeeeeeeeeel, say!

Holy Diver, you’re the star of the masquerade
No need to look so afraid
Jump! Jump! Jump on the tiger
You can feel his heart but you know he’s mean
Some light can never be seeeeeeeeeeen, yeah!

[more solos]
[unending solos]
[I’m gonna go get a sammich while these dudes do whatever the hell they do]

Holy Diver!
You been down too long in the midnight sea
Oh what’s becoming of me
No! No! Riiiide the tiger, You can see his stripes but you know he’s clean
Oh don’t you see what I meeeeeeean

Gotta get awaaay get awaaaaaaaaay
Gotta get away get awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, yeah!
Holy Divah! Soul Survivah!
You’re the one’s who’s clean!
Rollee divah! Rollee divah! There’s a cat in the blue coming after you, Holy Diver!
Roh, holy diverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Yeah! All right! Get away get away get away!
Holy diver! Holy diver! Oh holy diverrrrrr! Oooooh hooo ooo ooo oooh!

I do not understand that song whatsoever. I was never a metal dude. Maybe there’s something that I missed, so I will listen to it again.

Don’t drink and Dio.

2 Responses to “Dear Gin and Tonic ”

  1. You may not be a serial killer, but you are an Internet stalker. You need Safari and use its “Private Browsing” feature for all that jazz.

  2. The third line from down should read: “There’s a cat in the blue coming after you Holy Diver!”

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