Jesse Mullan

Starboy no more

Written on Thursday, the 16^th of December, 1999 at 11:33 pm and was filed under: Comics

Narrator: When last we saw our stalwart hero, he was finishing up a certain Big Book of Starboy Action. Let’s see what he’s up to now.

Starb: I’m not Starboy anymore.
Narr: What?
Starb: There is another Starboy that came first. Sorry.
Narr: Um. Okay then. Um, what should we call you then?
Starb: Assmaster. Poopboy. I don’t care.
Narr: Be serious. We can’t have a comic book called “Assmaster.”
Starb: I suppose you’re right. Assmaster is taken anyway. Don’t ask how I know. Angol, do you have any ideas?
Angol: We should just go to Angol Comix. Maybe call it “Angol, Space Explorer and Guardian of Galactic Justice.”
Starb: Remind me to punch you in the cowboys.
Angol: Okay, okay, fine then. We’ll call you Boystar.
Starb: No.
Angol: Starryboy?
Starb: Um, no.
Angol: I’m out of good ideas.
Starb: Thank the Lord.
Angol: Lord of the Stars.
Starb: Shut up.
Angol: Sarcasmboy.
Starb: I told you to shut up.
Angol: Bitterboy.
Starb: Too close to Bitter Bear. Oh yeah, shut up.
Angol: Temperboy.
Starb: I will kill you.
Angol: Psychoticboy.
Starb: I and my sixteen personalities will kill you.
Angol: What? You have sixteen personalities?
Starb: No, but I’ll still kill you if you don’t shut up.
Angol: Fine. Be that way. I was only trying to help.
Starb: Maybe I should just be a one word name, with no “boy” after it.
Angol: Worthless?
Starb: Must… not… kill…
Angol: Nova?
Starb: Taken.
Angol: Pulsar?
Starb: Lame.
Angol: Quark?
Starb: Star Trek.
Angol: Singularity?
Starb: Are you saying that I’m fat? Have I reached such giant proportions that even light cannot escape my pull?
Angol: Comet?
Starb: Because I’m so good at cleaning the bathroom sink?
Angol: I was thinking of the reindeer, but that’s good.
Starb: Where’s my blaster? Didn’t I say that I was going to shoot you?
Angol: Okay, back to stellar phenomena- Sunspot.
Starb: That would be great if I was a dog.
Angol: Well…
Starb: Angol, do you remember how I told you to shut up? You’re walking a thin rope at a perilous height.
Angol: Tomb raider.
Starb: Do I have breasts?
Angol: Well, you are getting a little chunky.
Starb: Do I raid tombs?
Angol: Okay, okay. Tomb Raider is out. Hmm…
Starb: Hmmm.
Angol: I’ve got it!
Starb: What?
Angol: Nevermind. Bad idea.
Starb: At least you’re admitting it.
Angol: Um, I give up.
Starb: Me too. I guess I’ll just have to go by my last name- Smith.
Angol: Agent Smith?
Starb: Well, yes, actually.
Angol: I think we found the name for the comics.
Smith: Woo hoo!
Angol: What’s your first name, anyway?
Smith: Kevin, but no one calls me that.
Angol: Okay, Agent Smith, what’s next?
Smith: I don’t know. We have to wait for the next issue.