If I were to buy fifteen watts

I listen to a lot of Radio K again now, much like when I was 18 and prepping vegetables in the basement of the Speedy Market on Como. Yes, that was a long time ago, when Radio K was new and amazing. Anyway, I bought two watts on Monday during the festival of awesome and got no bonus Radio K gift pack or anything. Zach gets a day in his honor at some point, but all that I got was a slap in the face, and not even by a K staffer, just by some random dude fulfilling his karmic duty to beat the crap out of me. He hasn’t found me yet, but he will, and then I will get my amazing radio K prize pack.

Anyway, yesterday the rewards were amazing. The guests were two women from First Avenue who work in the booking office (or something like that). The reward for buying one watt was to get on the guest list for a private party in the Entry that one of them was putting on, and two watts would get you onto the list for a birthday party in the Entry in December. Eleven watts got you on the list for Mike Doughty, which would be fairly amazing, since I was one of those rabid Soul Coughing fans back in the day (but honestly, I still haven’t gotten around to listening to his solo stuff, possibly because I heard someone compare it to Dave Matthews Band, which, for the love of crap, I can’t seem to bring myself to stand).

Okay, so those things were amazing, but then they said that four watts would earn one double date with the two staffers and a male friend of your choice (or just you and the two of them? Who knows, who cares, I could fashion a convincing dummy to prop up in the chair next to me, and do a little ventriloquism to make it seem like he and I were divvying up the lady folk. He’s probably get the redhead, but he’s a jerk anyway). Just to hammer the point home, they gave the link to First Avenue’s myspace site (who knew that First Ave was a sixteen year old girl from AOL?) which had links to each of their accounts: Kate and Steph.

Amazing!

So, seeking to be sold on purchasing insane numbers of extra watts to get tickets plus a date (I mean, come ON, that’s $150 and I feel guilty when I spend $3.20 on pizza each day instead of packing two cups of beans and rice), I sent an email. Also, I like to harrass the DJs — it’s free for me and cheap for them.

Subject: If I were to buy fifteen watts

Would I get the tickets plus two dates?

What am I saying? I can’t afford to buy any more watts.

Or maybe I can’t afford NOT to buy watts.

definitely is our first answer. we would like to know what show you want tickets to though. let me know and then we will confirm and then you can call 626.rock - thanks jesse!

chris the dj

The devil on my shoulder is telling me that I should buy more watts, but the angel told me that I have purchased plenty of watts.

What was that myspace url?

myspace.com/firstavenuenightclub

the girls say “listen to the devil”

i tend to concur.

chris the dj

I did get to the first ave myspace page, and upon seeing cute women the devil was jumping up and down and waving his pitchfork around. However, the angel came back from the bathroom and put his foot down. So, despite my rampant singleness, I will not be purchasing female accompaniment.

Now I have to go to class, all sad from not giving in to my urge to buy irresponsible numbers of watts.

ok thank you though jesse!

chris

About halfway through class I regretted not just signing up to be a recharger. I mean, that’s $10 a month that I will probably never miss - that is until they do it when my checking account is empty like the place where my soul should be. Then, bounced transaction fees, and… uh… crap. I should totally do the recharging thing the next time they have a useful reward — well, more useful than the slap that I will already be getting.

Cake Woman called me yesterday because she wanted to do the Thursday museum thing. Unfortunately, between class, work, and the midterm that I have tonight, I only have time for food, and not for wandering around heckling artwork. Since that fell through, she told me that I have to drive to Anoka on Friday night to see her apartment. Since she lives in Anoka, or, as I like to call it, the South End of the North Pole, there is nothing to do there but drink and watch cartoons. I’m not sure how that will work out. She might have to work on Saturday, so this will probably just end with me being evicted at midnight and having to make my way cross country Journey of Natty Gann-style.

So today I turn on the K to hear an unexpected and familiar voice — Sheela Namakkal! She was one of my favorite people in high school, and she was working at Wells Fargo when I was (I assume that she still is, but I don’t know). Flushed with excitement, I send of another email to the studio:

Subject: SHEELA!
The guests just keep getting better and better!

I’m amazed. Hi, Sheela!

Sheela says buy watts

Sigh.

2 Responses to “If I were to buy fifteen watts ”

  1. ok I’m dreunk abou I’m pteut suire thats funnynu

  2. oh jesse :)

    i had to try and get people to buy watts!! that was the GOAL!

    i am still at wells fargo: not in the same building. come see the band sometime! let me know! i will put you on the list!

    s.

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