Good Morning!
I’ve said it before:
I am not a morning person.
When I mention that I have difficulty waking up in the morning, this sort of exchange happens:
“Can you set two alarms?”
“I have two alarms, plus my computer plays music, and I have a light on a timer.”
“Oh, well, yes, I guess you have that fairly well covered. Are they loud enough?”
“One of my alarm clocks is designed for deaf and hard of hearing persons — it has a vibrating attachment that slides under my pillow.”
“Well. Um, can you have someone call you in the morning?”
“Are you volunteering?”
“No, well, uh…”
Jerks. In the past a lot of the time I just couldn’t sleep at night. Now I’m down to one cup of coffee in the morning and no caffiene any other time (except for chocolate, which is my real weakness of late, but still I don’t indulge in more than half a bag of Reese’s Mini Peanut Butter Cups at a time). So, when I don’t have last-minute homework I can usually fall asleep by midnight. Okay, two. Three? I have no idea any more, because tonight I did have last minute homework.
Well, I’m going to sleep. I left a note for Lisa to call in the nine thirty AM region of time. That’s right after the nine AM region of time.
YOU CAN’T KILL ME, I’M ALREADY DEAD!
That’s amazing… I also have music, two alarm clocks, and a light on a timer. I’m not kidding. If you were kidding, now I’m embarassed.
The trick is the ordering and timing. The light should turn on first. Then the music. The music + light combo will probably wake you up, but it will shock you out of bed, you’ll have to get out of bed, turn the music off… but then, if you are like me, you are all worn out from the shock, plus it is cold out of bed and nice and warm in bed… so you get back into bed. Now the key is to set your first alarm clock long enough, or short enough, from the music going off that it goes off at the right time in your sleep cycle. If you like to snooze, you gotta hope your snooze lines up with your sleep cycle in a positive way. Then the second alarm clock should be set for one snooze cycle (on that alarm) before you absolutely positively HAVE to get out of bed.
Good luck.
Also, going to bed 8 and a half hours before you have to get up really helps. Not that any of us have time for 8.5 hours of sleep. But if you do… getting up is cake.
Actually, the above method barely works for me. I should go to a sleep clinic and get some expert advice. They could hook me up to some computers and figure out what my actual cycle is like. That would rock. Then they could also tell me I have sleep apnea, and save me from dying.
When I eventually did struggle into consciousness, my alarm clock was upside down and had been changed from “pulse” to “vibrate continuously until you hit it very hard.”
I have to log on to a computer to shut off the music. The light doesn’t wake me up unless someone else is in my bed, which doesn’t happen often enough to be helpful.
I’m totally serious, except that at some point alarm clock number two got unplugged, so this morning I set up my cell phone to be alarm clock number two.
Okay, many mornings Lisa just sends Noah upstairs to wake me up.
If I could get to sleep 8 hours before I need to wake up, I totally would. I love sleep. There’s just always so much to do.
I saw the note before I left at 7AM but forgot to call. My bad.
And I send Noah up every morning, or yell, “Get your ass out of bed!” or sing the “Goodmorning, Pooper” song. Or all three.
Jesse’s alarm starts going off a full hour before he gets up. The vibrating pad under his pillow is so loud it sounds like the floor is shaking. Sometimes that, as well as the blast from his alarm clock wakes us up and he is still blissfully sound asleep. He’s been like this ever since I’ve known him.
Poopers is sleeping.
ssssssssshhhhhhh
And now I’m awake!