Adventures in Cursing

My mom went with me to buy schoolbooks and then my glasses, which involved visiting Coffman (where I work, but on a different floor) and then the north suburbs. At one point I tried to drive from Blaine to Brooklyn Park, or something like that, and the moronic traffic and ill-designed roads caused me to unleash invectives that actually melted the windshield of my mother’s Camry. Later I shivved someone in a store.

I figured it out, though, while sitting and waiting for the salesperson to finish my glasses order — my broken and cockeyed glasses are causing my murderous rage. Interestingly, the rage came on before the headache, but now that my eyes feel like they are being plucked from my head I will no longer be able to climb to the roof of a building with a high powered rifle and shoot people. Instead I will have to use a shotgun or grenades at closer range. It will just be easier on my eyes.

I’m gonna go lie down and picture rivers of blood.

11 Responses to “Adventures in Cursing ”

  1. What’s the ETA on your new glasses there buddy?

  2. They were supposed to be ready at noon today, but they screwed up the lenses, so they were not ready until 3pm. I think that either my prescription changed or I got hit in the head, because I feel a little woozy.

  3. Totally EMO! Hooray!

  4. tooooooot

    MAKE IT STOP

  5. Jesse, it’ll be more like puddles of blood; trust me on this one.

    On a side note, my girlfriend said the following things about you two (Zach and Jesse)

    Zach: “He didn’t seem to be an asshole to me.” (I didn’t say you were an asshole.)

    Jesse: “Oh yeah! He had tape on his glasses; kind of creepy, but in a nice way.”

    -Thomas

  6. Which one is your girlfriend?

    P.S. *You* didn’t have to say I’m an asshole for her to think that if she hangs around the K crowd. Plllllenty of other people there can take care of that for you.

  7. You know, if everyone ALREADY thinks that I’m creepy, why do I bother trying to NOT be creepy? Sigh.

  8. River. She had red/pink hair when you guys saw her at the All Request Hour.

    I just wanted to clarify that I didn’t say it.

    Because that way you can honestly say, “but I don’t try to be creepy!”

    -Thomas

  9. How is creepy ever in a nice way?

    I’m so confused. I’m gonna go back to drinking.

  10. Probably that you’re wierd, but in the not-going-to-rape-maim-or-kill-you sort of way.

    -Thomas

  11. I’m glad to be weird, but “creepy?” Sigh.

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