It’s Friday, I’m In Booze
Paul is graduating, and Friday was his last day. Every day up until Friday I blinded myself to the immediacy of his departure. I just put it out of my mind because he has been such an essential part of me not losing my shit every day at work. I mean, work itself is not terribly stressful, but it seems to be the fulcrum of the giant lever being operated on by school and my home life. Zach does his part with psychotic psychadelic music and the ensuance of hilarity. Paul is the original other half of Team Kickass, so even gerrymandering to allocate a district of Team Kickass to Zach can’t close the hole.
After work on Friday (and I use the term “work” somewhat loosely since Zach got Paul some plastic army guys with even plasticker parachutes and we threw them off of the balcony in the Great Hall [which you can rent, but we’re on the ins with the guys in A/V and so we didn’t have to rent it for our five minutes of giggling and throwing army men down and then up]). Somewhere around five we went to the Town Hall brewery and had a couple of beers. It was a little bit too short and none of us got drunk and made any bad decisions as a result. However, I got word that my favorite professor was tossing back a few with some nerds at Big Ten, so after Zach dropped me off at Coffman I biked over to the other bar to see if they were still there.
I don’t know if you can really say that you have lived until your favorite professor leans over and puts his finger right in your face to say: “This guy? This guy IS THE GUY!” in a british accent. “I SHOULD [BLOGGING] KNOW, BECAUSE I [BLOGGING] WENT TO [BLOGGING] CAMBRIDGE!”
[Said professor requested that I edit the swearing out of the sentence attributed to him. Admittedly I took some creative license with it, because I can’t say for sure that I heard him swear. — editor]
However, I had eaten so much pork sandwich at Town Hall that I could barely drink beer, so after just one Maibock and one Blue Moon at Big Ten, I had to call it quits. Well, also Cake Woman was done with work and I wanted to see her terribly badly, but, you know, uh, so I went home and waited for her to come over, yell at me for talking, and fall asleep while watching her admittedly very interesting show about Russia and the Tsars which initially I was resistant to but yes, she was right, it was pretty cool and spending two hours with my arm over Cake Woman was relaxing.
Saturday I went car shopping in the rain. After that, the Keathlys, Cake Woman, and I all took my mom out for dinner. Someone forgot to make reservations at Buca, so we went to Morelos Mex Grill.
Sunday I went to dinner with my mom and her husband’s family. I had a glass of wine from a $60 bottle. I think that I might have preferred a beer, but you know, I’m not very cultured. I did enjoy the brie and the Swiss, or whatever flavorless cheese that was. I would have recommended something sharper and firmer to offset the brie, or maybe something really stinky like a blue cheese or any type of foot cheese, but then I’m a little weird.
You ordered a fucking Blue Moon at Town Hall?
No, the Blue Moon was at Big Ten, and it was what was in the pitcher.
Oh, at Town Hall I ordered the oatmeal stout and the Scottish ale.
Oh, shoot - give me a sec - let me get this egg off my face now… Guess it’s back to Reading Comprehension 101 for me! ;)
No egg for you, I went back and made that sentence clearer.
Carl could drink any one of his students under the table. And while they’d be hugging the toilet and dry heaving like little vaginas, he’d be standing over them saying, “You minge, you’d be able to hold your liquor if you went to Oxford or Cambridge.”
Man, you really need to start the official fan club, cause I want to join.
I’m selling the Hot Carl t-shirts
Only if there’s a pictre of said professor licking his lips. Otherwise it’s just stupid.
-Thomas
We’ve photoshopped him in every way but that.
It’s only a matter of time.
Zach - it’s true. My sis went to a Harvard party last year and has never before or sense seen people pound hard liquor with seeminly no effects (and she’s married to a jazz musician for chrissakes). It made me feel good to know that the future of our country can hold their liquor.
Oh, and Jesse, save me a Hot Carl T-shirt dude.
I knew that you guys liked me, but jeez. Thanks, Jesse… I’ll get around to blogging soon… promise.