This is an actual conversation we had over AIM because even though Zach sits close enough to me that we could hold hands while we program, I was listening to music too loudly to hear him.
Zach: you will go deaf listening to earphones at that volume
Jesse: I can’t hear you
Jesse: I am deaf
Jesse: you know, they have been saying that for sixteen or seventeen years now
Jesse: and I have always listened to them at the same volume
Jesse: and my ears are fine
Jesse: YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD I HATE YOU
Jesse: stop fucking my mom!
Again, Zach is my boss, and I have been fired.