Jesse Mullan

German Moonshine

Written on Monday, the 28^th of August, 2006 at 8:46 pm and was filed under: Diversions

I went to Vegas for a Gallery thing. Jens from Germany was there, and he supplied some German moonshine, pictured in my hands here:

I haven’t yet taken a picture of it, probably because I am afraid that it will be like a horror film, where even looking at a picture will deliver you unto an unspeakable two or three day hangover where you wake up in the middle of the night and empty the dirty clothes out of the 18 gallon laundry tub because you just might throw up all of Las Vegas at once. Did you see that Poltergeist sequel where the guy threw up the worm that turned into a dude that tried to kill him? It felt like that was going to come out, so there was no way that I was going to let it anywhere near the knives.

Until I get a better picture of it, here’s what it says on the bottle. I am very good at internets, but I cannot find this anywhere.
On the front:

Marke
Erkelenzer
Urkorn
71
40% vol
Robert Reichert
Erkelenz Kuckum

On the back:

Urkhorn wird aus reinem Weizen, nach überlieferter Rezeptur von 1895, fein gebrannt. In langer Lagerung reift er zu milder Bekömmlichkeit und vollendeter Geschmacksharmonic heran. So bietet sich dem Kenner ein alter Kornbrannt von unverfälschter Natuerlichkeit.
L. 500
Helmut Christ
Erkelenz-Kuckum
Deutsches Erzeugnis

The back, in English — sort of:

Urkhorn is burned finely from pure wheat, by the traditional recipe from 1895. In long storage it matures to milder wholesomeness and fuller taste harmonics. Thus an vintage Kornbrannt of straightforward naturalness is offered to the connoisseur.

I am afraid to have it in the house, but it is my burden now. I will keep it secret

I will keep it safe.

4 Responses to “German Moonshine ”

1. 
   Paulasaurus Rex said on August 28th, 2006 at 9:09 pm

   mmmmmm drinky drinky…

2. 
   schultmc said on August 31st, 2006 at 10:47 pm

   I don’t (yet) speak German, but googling for Urkorn brings up http://www.urkornhof.at/ which appears to be Austrian, not German. Hmmm.

3. 
   schultmc said on August 31st, 2006 at 10:50 pm

   http://www.urkornhof.at may be the company the wheat comes from (thanks to Babelfish)

4. 
   Jens said on September 5th, 2006 at 4:39 am

   Hi,

   i will figure out how to send it to you. I guess “THEY” will consider it as an explosiv something from the home of the terrorists ;)

   Greetings from there,

   HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAD_j