Written on Monday, the 21st of November, 2005 at 3:57 am and was filed under:
Diversions
I woke up this morning with a surety of knowledge that I had to do three things:
- Buy some RAM for the server
- Volunteer for the Zenon show
- Launch that freelance site
So, the first thing that I did after waking up was ask Stan if he wanted to go to General Nanosystems. Then, while checking my email and writing a quick blog post, I got a phone call from Cake Woman.
“Bring me Pizza Luce!” she ordered.
“The whole store?” I queried.
“PIZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAA” she wailed in a banshee shriek that shook the ground from here to Anoka.
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Written on Monday, the 21st of November, 2005 at 2:08 am and was filed under:
Diversions
Okay, so I was chatting with Zach while simultaneously looking at Craigslist for more lady-type people. I shared an ad with him and he was all “how big is size 14, anyway.” I realised that I didn’t really know, since my brain tended to shut down in the women’s clothing section when I used to shop there. All I know is that women’s sizes bear no relation to reality or logical ordering of the universe. That said, I proceeded to do some research so men everywhere could finally breathe a sigh of relief.
Here are some celebs that I found when I should have been doing the bomblab for CSci 2021. If I found their size online, I included it. If not, I’m matching them up against the chart that I have.
- 02:
-
When they are this tiny you’re just risking breaking her pelvis. I’m kidding! God! Look, there’s only two ways that I can go with this, either completely offensive and hilarious, or eggshell strained and painful for everyone.
Kate Moss
Height: 5′7″
Bust-waist-hips: 33-23-35
- 04:
-
Yes, women’s sizes are all even. 4 is bigger than 2 and smaller than 6. Someone somewhere said a size 0 for Paris Hilton, but, uh, I dunno. She still needs a month or two of treatment for being crazy. Also, a sammich. Not a huge sammich at first, but as her body grows used to actually digesting food, she would get more and more hot sammich action.
Paris Hilton
Height: 5′8″
Bust-waist-hips: 34-25-35
Dress size: 4
- 06:
-
Monica Belucci is… well… I had expected her and Famke to be in different places. One of them looks like butter, and the other looks sharp enough to slice bread.
Monica Bellucci
Height: 5′9-1/2″
Bust-waist-hips: 35-24-35
Dress size: 6-8
Melody says “a size 6 is going to be a thin, trim body with little to no body fat.”
- 08:
-
I will let you do your own googling and such.
Famke Janssen
Height: 5′11″
Bust-waist-hips: 36-24-36
Dress size: 8-10
- 10:
-
Drew Barrymore (Melody said that she was this size in the Wedding Singer, at least on the bottom)
Height: 5′ 4″
Bust-waist-hips: 34C-24-34
Melody says: “a size 10 is generally a bit more plush, with larger hips.”
- 12:
-
Drew Barrymore (Melody said that she was this size in the Wedding Singer, at least on the top)
That’s right, I said Drew Barrymore on the top.
- 14:
-
When you reach this size you can start shopping at Lane Bryant. I would probably buy this size for me, but my chesticles, hips, and buttocks are not very big so I wouldn’t make the dresses all pretty without some padding.
Melody says that Kate Winslet is this size.
Mmmmm Kate Winslet… Rumor has it that Renee Zellweger was this size for Bridget Jones when (in my opinion) she looked her best. Melody also said: “heh. I feel people up and label their bodies for a living,” and “14 and you’re starting to get the larger thighs and belly pudge, but no where near a roll.” So. There you go. I am for all of those things, especially the feeling people up part. AMAZING.
- 16:
-
I don’t have an example for this size, and honestly, if you were trying to imagine any of these celebrities you probably would have a hard time placing them next to an arbitrary female type person. I’d just like to say that the clothing selection in this size is pretty depressing. Yes, I have looked through the racks.
- 18:
-
You get a lot of woman for your money when you get up to this range, but if they dress well all you will notice is the PLADOW factor. I mean, you don’t get into a size 18 unless you are packing some booty and probably comfy soft pillows. This is a lady you can get comfortable with. Ahem.
- 20:
-
I’ve dated bigger.
Okay, so maybe you’re like me and just want to see sizes in chart form so you could apply some scientific reasoning to it, well, uh, good luck. Here’s what you can get from Bloomingdales. It’s different from the Target chart. And probably the Vogue patterns charts.
| MODERN SIZE CHART (USA) |
|
XS |
S |
M |
L |
| SIZE |
P |
4 |
6 |
8 |
10 |
12 |
14 |
| BUST |
32 |
33 |
34 |
34 |
36 |
37 ½ |
39 |
| WAIST |
23 ½ |
24 ½ |
25 ½ |
26 ½ |
27 ½ |
29 |
30 ½ |
| HIPS |
34 |
35 |
36 |
37 |
38 |
39 ½ |
41 |
| CLASSIC SIZE CHART (USA) |
|
P |
S |
M |
L |
XL |
| SIZE |
2 |
4 |
6 |
8 |
10 |
12 |
14 |
16 |
| BUST |
32 ½ |
33 ½ |
34 ½ |
35 ½ |
36 ½ |
38 |
39 ½ |
41 |
| WAIST
| 24 |
25 |
26 |
27 |
28 |
29 ½ |
31 |
32 ½ |
| HIPS
| 35 |
36 |
37 |
38 |
39 |
40 ½ |
42 |
43 ½ |
| PETITE’S SIZE CHART FOR 5′4′ AND UNDER (USA) |
|
P/XS |
P/S |
P/M |
P/L |
| SIZE |
2P |
4P |
6P |
8P |
10P |
12P |
14P |
| BUST |
32 |
33 |
34 |
35 |
36 |
37 ½ |
39 |
| WAIST |
23 ½ |
24 ½ |
25 ½ |
26 ½ |
27 ½ |
29 |
30 ½ |
| HIPS |
34 |
35 |
36 |
37 |
38 |
39 ½ |
41 |
| WOMEN’S SIZE CHART SIZES 14 TO 24 (USA) |
|
1X |
2X |
3X |
| SIZE |
14 |
16 |
18 |
20 |
22 |
24 |
| BUST |
40 |
42 |
44 |
46 |
48 |
50 |
| WAIST |
31 |
33 |
35 |
37 |
39 ½ |
42 |
| HIPS |
42 |
44 |
46 |
48 |
50 ½ |
53 |
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