Professional Wingman Services

So I’m going out tonight and I need a wingman. My boss (Zabe 1) suggested that I hire a professional, and that the professional should be female, since that is all the rage. Unfortunately, there is only one professional wingperson in the Twin Cities metro area (that I could find in thirty seconds of googling), and since she is cute I’d probably just spend the whole time checking her out.

Alternatively, I could take Stan or Lisa, but Stan is awfully quiet and would probably spend the whole time checking out the synthesizers on stage. Lisa likes to embarrass me when she gets drunk. Lisa likes to embarrass me when she’s sober, like when I brought home a woman, and she made Noah ask:
“Are you my new mommy?”

Actually, that was fucking hysterical, except that I am the sort of person who lives with a married couple and their three year old. Oh, now I’m sad again.

I think that I’m gonna go to the Varsity by myself and walk home afterwards. I will shave on Gerg’s behalf, I think.

3 Responses to “Professional Wingman Services ”

  1. I strongly support this.

  2. Wait, which do you support — me hiring you and spending the whole time checking you out, my friend Lisa embarrassing me, or me shaving on Gerg’s benefit?

  3. […] 5, 2005Maybe I should get more sleep Flashing Lights @ 11:44 pm So you may have read my post about needing a wingman, in which I referred to needing a professional. If not, […]

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