Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Why do you hate the Doodlebops so much?
A: I don’t hate them at all.
Q: Why was your server offline?
A: Hard drives aren’t supposed to making clunking noises. I hope that drive likes the freezer, because it is time for desperate measures.
Q: Why is your server so slow?
A: I host it on my own POS box over my own DSL.
Q: Why are you so grumpy?
A: Bite me.
Q: Do you want to come to our “Catholic School Girls and Headmasters” college party? There will be booze and college girls dressed as catholic school girls.
A: I’m kind of tired and grumpy.
Q: There’s a hot tub.
A: I don’t want to drive half an hour to go to a party where I can’t really drink. I mean, I’d have to drive home afterwards.
Q: You can crash here!
A: The last time I thought that I was gonna crash somewhere my car got towed. Also, I don’t need the temptation of drunken school girls.
Q: WE’RE DRUNK RIGHT NOW AND WE MISS YOU WHY AREN’T YOU HERE GETTING DRUNK WITH US AND THE NAKED WOMEN IN THE HOT TUB.
A: I realise that you are expressing a moral imperative here in that I am a college student and there is a drunk naked college schoolgirl hot tub party two days before the start of classes, but I must still respectfully decline. I am experiencing some ridiculous and inexplicable pain in my foot which is a constant reminder of the fact that I am 31 and thusly simply too old to be involved in that sort of activity.
Q: THERE ARE NAKED MEN IN THE HOT TUB, TOO!
A: Oh yes, now that is a selling point.
Q: COME ON, MAN, SERIOUSLY, YOU NEED TO BE HERE!
A: I’m really not in the mood and I’d just feel creepy and gross limping up to the house so I can displace all the water in the hot tub with my fleshy white self.
Q: TOO MANY WORDS, I’M NOT GOING TO READ THIS POST
A: I guess I can’t have everything.
ouch, dude. just ouch.
this is how it has to be, a kiss for luck submerse myself, and in seven weeks surface, even if we don’t look back again
tired boys with wired eyes, exposing imperfections, to the public eye we’re perfect, even if we don’t look back again
Q: Why did she break up with you instead of the other way around?