Represent what?

What happens when an old dude climbs on a bike after years of inactivity? He mines it for comedy gold! Just so Paul knows which posts to not read because they have too many words or focus too much on me trying to find a summer exercise activity that does not involve anyone else’s balls flying at my face, I created a new category, “Bikes”! I know that you are very excited, and not just because yet again I can’t sleep at night.

Oh yeah, before I do go to sleep, I should mention that Jeremy highly approved of the Bianchi Volpe. He mentioned that Specialized has some nice stuff for reasonably cheap. I have to remember to call my insurance agent tomorrow about canceling the red car. That’s $50 a month!

Why, exactly, are the web pages for all of the local bike shops awful? I mean, come on, it’s 2005!

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Moon River

You might ask me, if you were an especially astute reader, from whence I got the idea that maybe it is irresponsible and unhealthy for me to commute to work and school in my car. You might wonder if it is solely the influence of one woman with a particularly well developed social and environmental conscience. No, it wasn’t just her.

Like all good stories, this one starts with my testicles.

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All sideways

Stan will not stop freaking out about Karl Rove. Conveniently for me, I have the Daily Show to help me temper my hatred with peace. Jon Stewart said “the sideways winky face.” I win! ;)

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The Four Negations

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Did I say “lay down some tracks”? What I meant to say was “knock the dust off of the four track, take it downstairs, and screw around for a while.” Noah came downstairs because he loves the drums and thinks that my set is his. Eventually I convinced him to let me play my set, but after only three songs my right shin started to burn out. This is no good at all, since the Four Negations is supposed to be a punk band, and I will have to play fast and hard with no practice through our setlist. We haven’t written any songs yet, but at least we have enough titles to get started, plus a rough sketch of an album cover. That has to count for something.

However, the drums that I recorded weren’t punk at all — I was just playing along to “Merchants of Soul” by Spoon, something else, and “Daft Punk is Playing At My House” by LCD Soundsystem. More generally, I was freaking the funk rather than slamming a beat along to move a pit. Uh, I’m not a great drummer, but sometimes you have to go have some fun. I will theoretically be able to slice these beats up later in one of the many music programs on my computer that are merely gathering electronic dust, so it was worth my time.

Lisa has been ragging on me to go visit one of the apparently many thrift stores nearby. I almost took the blue meanie (eventually I will settle on a name for that bike, but not tonight) and even got as far as bringing my helmet to the bottom of the stairs before remembering that I am a lazy bastard. I took the car and surveyed the array of bikes loitering in front of the thrift store. They were a dirty and ragged lot, and only a Raleigh ten-speed even slightly caught my eye. I gave it a miss, though, because the last thing that I need is another basket case of a ten speed locked up in the garage and giving me the evil eye when I don’t ride it. Apparently Boot is coming over later, maybe he can advise me on wheel purchases and derailleur adjustments. Maybe he will turn up his nose because I didn’t come out to see the nonet play (although he will likely just chalk that up to my general lack of class).

Back to the Four Negations, since that was how this all started. Currently I have Andy and Adam vaguely on board, which is the best that one can hope for, given that this is all just the fever dream of a sleepy student stuck in an extremely tedious class. Yes, I can play several instruments, no I can’t play any of them well. Yes, I can dissect a beat in infinite ways and reassemble it in horrific patterns, but honestly, where has that gotten me since 1991? This, like everything, is just a joke, a grand ruse, a terrible scheme to distract myself from the tedium of day to day life.

Noah got a tiny acoustic guitar for his birthday. I have seen them before and I know that they cost around $30. I can’t keep it in tune, but I can tune it and play it, which is endlessly entertaining. Maybe I should take beginning guitar next semester as an elective so I can spend loan money on an acoustic. It’s just so much work to plug in the electric guitar, and then I always worry about pissing off the neighbors. On the other hand, my neighbor Jesse (hooray) plays the trumpet, so he might not care so much as long as it is during normal hours. We’ll see what happens.

Oh yeah, I had an EPA and a Hefe, because we have both in the fridge all the time. Did I mention that I get free Summit? If you were to come over and relax on the deck you could enjoy one with me. I also deliver.

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Another bike note

Going up the hill in front of the house felt like flying. I feel like I could use a taller top gear like I had on the black devil bike that would chant “faster faster” as I chased cars in the few flat parts of Stillwater in 1991. I’m lucky that I never died, what with the helmetless riding and all. I think that bike was stolen or I just broke too many teeth off of the chainring. Maybe both. I hope so, bike stealing jerks — let’s see you sell my $5 bike that my dad bought in some random dude’s back yard. That bike didn’t shift properly either.

This isn’t really bike related, but I’m actually only spending $25 a month on gas plus $70 on parking. That makes the bike-related savings even slimmer if I don’t ditch the green car (another $50 per month if I do). Oh yeah, that is indeed bike related.

There is a wonder called the U Pass which is like unlimited bus riding for a semester for like $90. $70? That right there is the ultimate savings, so that is probably what I will do, except that I can’t afford it right now. HAHAHA I LOVE YOU UNIVERSITY AUTOMATED PROCESSES. Jerks. GIVE ME THE MONEY THAT WAS LOANED TO ME A MONTH AND A HALF AGO.

Time to do homework. I’m not even slightly tired.

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Pantslessness

I think that the heat is starting to break. That is the only explanation that I can come up with for my unprovoked lawn mowing and bike tuneup-ing. Tuning up. One of the spokes is broken, but I got a bunch of gunk out of the chain, straightened out the mounting of the rear wheel, and put air in the tires. I rode in circles a little bit, but I was too lazy to go in and get my helmet so I could ride around the neighborhood.

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Bike Stuff

Thanks to the blog of a friend of a random stranger (well, she sent me a message on the personals, then I googled her, and her blog was interesting enough to keep reading, but she never answered my messages - for shame!) I have been thinking about revising my expensive and sweaty commuting strategy into a completely different expensive and sweaty commuting strategy. I drove down to the hub coop because some part of me assumed that coop employees would sneer less at my goober-from-Iowa persona that I wear when shopping for things. I met a nice bearded gentleman named Michael who overestimated the length of my legs while showing me the one single used bike that fell into my vague recommendations. Then he showed me the dreamy Bianchi Volpe and Bianchi Castro Valley bikes.

^_^ *melt* <3 <3 <3

Uh, sorry about that.

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Well, I thought about the Army

I finally got someone on the phone at One Stop (at the U) who discovered that my appeal to the hold on my financial aid had been marked as processed when really it had just been ignored. They put me on hold for a while and got it approved, so now my tuition will be covered by a loan to me! Hooray!

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