I Don’t Really Do Comics Anymore

I was never that great of an artist, but I know how to just draw shit and call the results “my own style” or whatever. I sent one comic (the Big Book of Starboy Action) to Factsheet Five and the entire review was “Very rough. Loves trades.” I don’t know where my copy of that FS5 issue went, but I do have the final issue of FS5, which came out in 1998.

Anyway, I was looking for a big art pad that I used to have to cram my doodles into. I might be getting rid of a lot of stuff, but there’s stuff that I want to keep, too. While I was looking for that pad I came across a spiral notebook with some photocopies jammed into it. Those photocopies were of a comic that I was writing a script for — two guys I barely knew were drawing it. One of them was named Chris, and I don’t remember the name of the other. They moved, or at least said that they were moving, and I stopped work on the script.

I have a whole album of what they finished:

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Make up your mind

So, of course there was a debacle involving unexpected holds on my ability to register for classes in December which took a week or two to resolve. Then I thought that I had to wait to register for the 5xxx classes with my favorite professor (Carl Sturtivant) because I hadn’t finished 4041 yet, so I didn’t notice that I also needed a magic number because I am technically still a sophomore. Professor Sturtivant is in the hospital for something until after the first week of class, so I can’t get a hold of him to impress upon him how much taking his classes will fit my work schedule and general plan for graduating or at least making it through the semester without getting a machete and slaughtering a room full of classmates plus any random people on the street until the SWAT team shows up and takes me down with far too many bullets. If I were in those classes, plus the photography class that I am waitlisted for, I could conceivably take Diff EQ again this semester, thusly freeing up my summer for Spanish or perhaps (and I am terrified and shamed for even mentioning this) an internship someplace… like Google. I can’t even say that I would have a realistic chance of getting it, what with my academic record being so spotty — what with my life being so fucking spotty.

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Best Blonde Joke Ever

Best Blonde Joke Ever

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robot

Cake Woman is getting a congratulatory card for getting an excellent review at her job. This is on the back:
robot

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If you don’t, how will you know how clever I am?

pennyarcade

Penny Arcade is way funnier than me.

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Gratuitous and Mean-Spirited

McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: Although I Like a Good George W. Bush Joke as Much as the Next Guy, Some of Them Seem Gratuitous and Mean-Spirited.

I don’t know politics, but I know what I like!

A doctor, a lawyer, and an accountant all die and go to heaven on the same day. When they get to the Pearly Gates, they are greeted by St. Peter. St. Peter says, “Scott McClellan is a lying sack of shit and I’d tell him so myself if he weren’t going straight to hell when he dies.”

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Oddjack Cultural Oddsmaker: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory : Oddjack

What are the odds that the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory will feature hot Oompa-Loompa-on-Oompa-Loompa action?

Find out here:
Oddjack Cultural Oddsmaker: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory : Oddjack

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The Four Negations v.2a

fourNegations output2

While watching the Daily Show I put a little sauce on the logo.

I don’t think that I have had this much fun since I made the Team Kickass logo

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Wells Fargo!

Someone wrote on this ad, they replaced it, and there it was again. I think that it was meant to be — I only wish it was me.

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Concerned: The Half-Life and Death of Gordon Frohman

Concerned: The Half-Life and Death of Gordon Frohman

I haven’t even played Half Life 2 and this shit is funny. Actually, I bought Half Life 2 for my mom for Christmas and she beat it. Then she sent me pictures of a six foot tall snow penis that someone built in the park. Maybe I have told both of these stories before.

Frohman

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