Written on Sunday, the 28th of May, 2006 at 11:46 pm and was filed under:
Bikes
Isn’t Memorial Day weekend usually rainy, or at least not one hundred billion fucking degrees? I already had the air conditioner in the window, but I really thought that I would move to Anoka this week without turning it on this year. If you’re curious, it was already in the window because I switched the screen from the air conditioner window out for the screen that Stan had cut a few weeks ago when he and Lisa were locked out. You see, they could get the ladder from the garage and I had a window open and hilarity ensued.
Written on Wednesday, the 24th of May, 2006 at 4:52 pm and was filed under:
Diversions
I know that this has been everywhere, but Zach showed me, and then I had to share.
Sneak up on your opponents with a surprise semen attack! Just when they think you’re coming at ‘em with water, blast ‘em with a shot of icky semen! Shoot out globs of gooey semen and then drench ‘em with water! It’s a double blast attack that’ll keep your opponents on their toes and running during every water fight. With the OOZINATOR blaster you don’t just get soaked, you get drenched!
Written on Tuesday, the 23rd of May, 2006 at 9:25 pm and was filed under:
Diversions
I almost typed salesemen. It’s a subtle difference. So I went to look at Dodge Neons at the Denny Hecker’s Dodge. Well, Neons or Hyundais or anything that would be a decent deal, but I had a pretty good idea what I wanted. Well. You know. If I’m not getting a Lotus Elise, what I would want. At first I was pretty happy with the sales guy because he was willing to walk me through the lot and show me cars, but unfortunately the cars were shitty. We finally got back to the front door, and I said that I was sorry that they didn’t have anything that I was interested in, so he said that he could look up anything in the Denny Hecker system. Anyways he came back and said that they could fix up the Neon on the lot to my requirements. It took forever for me to get a real number from the guy, price-wise, and when I did, it was at least 1500 over book. Amazing. I’m thinking of going back and making an offer three grand under book. When the salesman acts all hurt and says that he has to eat and feed his family, I would just reply with the deepest chagrin:
“I’m a poor car salesman, and I can’t afford…” — except in the voice.
Written on Monday, the 22nd of May, 2006 at 5:19 pm and was filed under:
Diversions
Yes, it’s pretty certain that I will be moving to Anoka as soon as I get transportation ironed out again. I know that I have made my views on the suburbs plain, but Cake Woman works in Anoka and already lives two blocks from work. She would like to continue walking to work.
“How can you sleep?” asked Jerry Bell, the Minnesota Twins chief stadium negotiator. That’s a good question. Didn’t all the parents of the neighborhood lock the stadium in the boiler room and set it on fire? Now it’s back to haunt our dreams — except they’re real!
