I’m Older Than I’ve Ever Been
Paul spotted a white hair on the right side of my head. It is apparently quite long. Better white hairs than no hairs.
Gnocchi? I almost killed ‘em!
When Cake Woman was over on Friday we made gnocchi. They were delicious, but they took forever.
Cake Woman’s New Ball
We bowled six games tonight — my best game was 107, and the rest were like 60. I was a lot more consistent — consistently knocking down seven to nine pins per frame. I got two total strikes for the day. Cake Woman’s best game was a 133.
Cake Woman’s New Ball Demanded a Blood Sacrifice
Cake Woman got her new bowling ball yesterday and had it drilled almost immediately. She decided that it would be more cost effective to bowl for $1.50 a line in the morning than for whatever ungodly sum it is in the evening, so this morning we headed out bright and early to the Blainbrook Entertainment Center to break in her pearl blue ball. We were the first people to bowl, so when Cake Woman finished entering our names (”Death Cougar” for her and “Bilbo” for me), our lane broke the silence with a roar of machinery springing into action.
I hope this gets you over your Seasonal Affective Disorder
No, sorry. If it were that easy I would just put the Diabolical Biz Markie on repeat and drag myself out of it. Fuck yeah. However, NYC planning is going well, and as soon as I write one single paragraph for CSci 3081W, I will go to bed with a beautiful woman during the 24 hours of Valentine’s Day, and this time I didn’t have to pay for it and I probably won’t get crabs.
I’ve already got the syphilis. HAPPY VD!
The Lies Finally Stop
Tonight, Cake Woman told me that she is taking me to New York City for spring break. This is the best Valentine’s Day ever, and it isn’t even Valentine’s Day yet. I usually can’t put into words how Cake Woman makes me feel, but it is always something akin to elation. When she smiles at me it’s like I’m not even on the planet anymore.
My Man Bag
Coworker: Bla bla bla purse bla bla bla.
Me: I have a man bag
Coworker: Really? What does your man bag look like?
The jokes, at that point, made themselves.
Oops.
They announced free t-shirts on Radio K, so I ran out of the office and down six flights of stairs to the basement to get one. They only had large shirts, but oh well. Then, I saw King Kwong’s girlfriend whom he had said had called me creepy (deeply wounded I was) and I tried to flippantly mention it, but my three or four hours of sleep betrayed me, and it came out in a confused jumble that ended with me wanting to run run run.
I did not have a camera, so there was no photo of DJ Paul, Dave Hill, Zach, and I all wearing our emo glasses. I kind of wanted to start a band called “the Emo Four” but there was no time and the last thing that the world needs is four more grown men crying to sleepy beats.
