No Shoes No Shirt No Service
Sometime over the weekend I tried on a “wife beater” shirt. I looked like a sausage jammed into a tea bag. Not cool.
Sometime over the weekend I tried on a “wife beater” shirt. I looked like a sausage jammed into a tea bag. Not cool.
My command of the English language occasionally breaks down into seemingly random strings of words bearing no relation to traditional rules of grammar and meaning. I blame Gogol Bordello.
Yesterday after work I “took a nap” on the couch. At some point Sarah called, so I brushed my teeth and got a different pillow, but altogether I think I got about thirteen hours of sleep.
I was going to post about trying to apply for additional loans during the summer session, but it was just a long, angry rant. Suffice it to say that Onestop advisers gave me incomplete, incorrect, and conflicting information over the course of a half dozen emails and phone calls, and that when I finally talked to the person who eventually denied my request (without notifying me), she didn’t actually care that the website does not contain useful information.
“Not everyone reads that site anyway.”
Jesus Hairy Christ on a dog gammed pogo stick, it’s not like it’s my blog, it is the official communication of the University on the subject of loans.
Except that it probably is, so persons who still WANT to watch Goonies will have to do it in my apartment on a 13″ television. I mean 31“! It’s HUGE!
I’m still making pasta.
Wednesday is Goonies Day. I have made the executive decision to NOT build a cardboard pirate ship because there is just no time. We will have to use the power of our imaginations. Bring a blanket and a “nalgene” or “some other bottle that is not obviously booze.” You also might want to bring your own booze. I’m just saying that I will do my best with the loaves and fishes business, but I can only promise Fratelli Brothers brand spaghetti and bow tie pasta. Beyond that, well, I am imagining rum and Coca Cola very hard so that the universe can provide as it will. Also, I get paid on Wednesday, so I’ll be buying film and food.
That is: a roundup of Videos! Yes! I scour the internet to find all the good stuff for you: music, funnies, and plain old freak out weirdness.
This morning I had a dream that I walked down to the basement of a parking ramp and found thirty or forty dead bodies. One had been stabbed or shot or something, and the rest had suffocated. as I ran back up the stairs, I could see the smoke that someone was pumping into the basement to kill everyone. When I got to the top of the parking ramp, I tried to tell the parking ramp attendant, but they were busy with incoming cars, so I tried to call 911. My phone cut me off and flashed a message that lines were being held open so police could deal with a sniper. I put it together that this person was on a killing rampage. I heard shots and glass exploded around me. I turned around just in time to see a detective sneak up to a window across the street and fire point blank through the glass. The sniper fell forward through the window, doused in blood. I thought to myself that now I would be able to see the weird horse things like in the Harry Potter movie.
I woke up, then my alarm went off, but I wasn’t really awake, so I hit the snooze and an anaconda wrapped around me like a sheet.
After my doctor’s appointment I went back to work to put in more time. About a half an hour later I found myself digging into the task at hand with the sort of focus that has been avoiding me for seeming weeks. Satori seemed at my fingertips. I was working on a problem and the solution was unrolling itself as I typed. Around 9:15 or so Donald called to ask if I had seen his fountain pen. I had not. I must have sounded tired, because he told me that it was time to go home and relax.
I would have to say that tonight was the most successful night of my apartment yet: we used all of the forks, dirtied all of the dishes, and an expedition was led to the park that ended with the thorough enjoyment of “O Brother Where Art Thou” by all. But wait, there’s more: we discussed a trip to Ax Man in the next week to acquire “stuff” to make a “cardboard pirate ship.” I’m so happy, and next week’s Goonies will be even better.
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