Ask Doctor Jesse: Attracting Manticores

A few weeks ago I answered a question from Zach J. of Minneapolis regarding sasquatch infestations. He sent me another letter thanking me and commenting that he was worried about sprinkling borax around his property as it might also dissuade beneficial manticores from visiting his property. That is an excellent line of inquiry — but I had to bring in an expert to get answers. Immediately, I called my dear mother, a long time gardener and landscapist.

“Hi JP,” she said upon answering the phone. “I was just out in the garden feeding the amphivena.” A pair of these two-headed serpent-birds have a nest in the corner of her garden. Apparently their excretions make for excellent manure — unusual for carnivorous beasts.

“Hey Mom,” I replied. “Didn’t we have manticores when we lived in Iowa?”

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Ask Doctor Jesse: Sasquatch Infestation

As a doctor and maker and seller of fine internets, people turn to me for answers to their perplexing questions. For instance, Zach J from Minneapolis asks:

“How do I deal with a pesky sasquatch infestation?”

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Batman Spoilers

I <3 (love) the new Batman movie, especially this part:
batman06

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Summer Lovin’

Lovin’ summer? I had no idea! When those good folks at Onestop ruined my spring, then unintentionally freed up my summer from the onerous task of going to any classes. Wow. Instead, I get to read books, watch Doctor Who, and completely hose up my sleep schedule on three day weekends. Maybe that last one isn’t so good, but it has kept me reasonably sane while I work and work on secret projects. You might even catch me smiling from time to time.

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Rob Ruinits

This is not my drawing:
Untitled-1

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Ups and Downs of Doodling

I haven’t posted the last batch of doodles because I don’t know that people really want to see a post with twenty insane drawings in it pop up amidst their feed reader. While on one hand I post entirely for my own benefit, I hate to grief those people who take it upon themselves to follow my meandering rambles. That said, there is doodle news — no, I didn’t win a weekly thing or get posted in the Weisman, but I did get an email:

[We] were wondering if you would be interested in doing an
illustration for one of the stories for the finals issue… it would be
about Bruininks.. more information to follow if you are so inclined.

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Daily Doodle: Fairy Tales

This week’s theme is “Fairy Tales.” I figured that I should try to be a little less horrifying, so I tried to get Goldy to dress up as a fairy tale character. Goldy was thoroughly nonplussed.
Fairy-Tale-6.jpg

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Daily Doodle: End Game

It’s a sad announcement…
Last daily doodle ever.  April Fools!

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Daily Doodle: April Fools again

I have been waiting for a cease-and-desist letter from the Daily, but I got this instead:

Hello Jesse,

I have been monitoring your Daily Doodle submissions for the past two weeks and I have one thing to say…

Oh, the anticipation! What does he have to say?

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Daily Doodle: Aprils Fools

“I’m not a joke newspaper”
jm_a570 is_10041b.jpg

“April Fools! You are!”

Sigh, just one more unpublished doodle.

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