Dear Google Password Assistance,

Please stop sending me notices that someone is trying to reset my gmail password — especially since I am reading them in gmail itself. Obviously I have not forgotten my password.

Thank you.

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Oh, “analyze!”

I guess I’ve been pronouncing it wrong.

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Zombie Show A-Go-Go

Have you ever gotten an email that you read over and over again out of excitement?

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I Think That I Just Death Cabbed My Pants

I may have accidentally made a Death Cab for Cutie song tonight.

Run, Coward

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Happy VD!

Another entry into the “Daily Doodle.”

Happy VD!
Valentine’s!

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Weekly Doodles

The Minnesota Daily has some sort of “give us content for free” promotion running where they expect people to draw them pictures. So far they haven’t printed my entries.

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Ow, quit it!

I scratched my eye this morning. The cornea heals pretty fast, so usually when this happens (when it is dry or something gets in it), I just go back to sleep for a couple of hours and it feels better (although tender). I called in with the proviso that I might be back this afternoon. Anyway, 800mg of ibuprofen and four more hours of sleep later I couldn’t keep my eyes shut any longer, but it still hurts to the point that I have a headache.

I might go watch tv with a black sock for an eye patch. Maybe that will also fix my lazy eye.

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Born To Die

I got a letter from my doctor today. The news was not very pleasant.

Dear Jesse:

Here are your recent cholesterol results:

Total cholesterol = 283 (normal is <200)
Triglyceride - 348 (normal is <150)
HDL (good cholesterol) - 32 (optimal is >35)
LDL (bad cholesterol) - 181 (optimal is < 130)

These results are not optimal.

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Driven To Educate

One of the University’s English professors took the time to write a lovely editorial for the Minnesota Daily.

Read it there

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Better Than Tay

“That guy from the West Wing is here.”

“Who?”

“Uh, he’s also on Psyche.”

“Holy shitdogs in heat!”

Result:
Holy shitdogs in heat

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