Accidents Happen

Apparently I missed something by going to work on the 18th: a car chase ending with a flipped pickup right in front of my building — practically on the front stairs. If I would have known, I would have stayed home and made popcorn to watch.

KARE 11 Reports

I wouldn’t have found out about it except that I had ridden on CJ’s bus last week, he mentioned it in the same post as his mention of the accident.

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Learning English

I’ve been sick a couple of times already this winter. Fortunately, I have not had to use the english in the following video:

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Dear Mother

I’m afraid that your stock pot has been stolen by Smelton McNasty and his turkey Turkley.

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Can I Interest You In an Obelisk?

“We could use some help moving,” read Chandler’s email. Her email mentioned two pianos, some boxes, hard cider, and “other vittles.”

“I hope that ‘other vittles’ includes a sixer of suds,” I replied. “‘Beer’ to you,
or more appropriately, me.”

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Wishlist Remix

Sarah asked me just the other day what I wanted for winter holiday gift-giving. It was then that I noticed the smear of decorations defiling our fine city. Too soon. Too soon.

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Totally. Brutally. Free.

Dethklok played the Great Hall of Coffman Union, where I work. I was lucky enough to get up to the secret AV tech balcony and take some crowd shots for future concert promotional materials.

We unloaded for both Dethklok and You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead. That was the day before yesterday and I still feel like hamburger.

jm_20d_52668.JPG

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Still In Seattle

I haven’t gotten out to sightsee at all — instead I have been shuttled to and from the Microsoft campus and generally trapped in a large conference room while Microsoft sold and sold and sold to us. Chris Kelly and I scrambled to assemble a presentation while my hangover solidified and settled over me. We were asked more questions than most of the other presentations, which might imply interest, or maybe the attendees were so flabbergasted by our overall shabbiness that they simply had to know how we snuck in. The secret attendee chatroom even had a snide remark:

“Do you think when his mother asked for help he just yelled up the stairs?”

I responded later “there aren’t stairs in the trailer,” but the timing was ruined. If you’re friends with someone and you make a joke at their expense, you have to give them a chance to come back with witty rejoinder.

Then again, I might not have had a response: my brain was being dragged under by the weight of my swollen liver. Microsoft tried to buy its way into my heart with free tequila but only managed to get into my pants. Yes, I did bad things to my new copy of Windows Vista Ultimate when I got back to my room last night. DON’T JUDGE ME!

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Bellevue

I’m in Bellevue, Washington for a web development summit put on by Microsoft. The shuttle took me to the wrong Courtyard Marriott in Bellevue. The first elevator was missing the button for my floor: where there should have been a button was a hole with loose wires in it. It has been a strange day.

I am going to go find some sort of food on the mean streets of the city.

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Announcing Code or Theory

If you’re looking for more technical writing (not usually the domain of this blog) you can head over to my new blog: Code || Theory. That’s not “Code 2 Theory,” those are vertical bars, and two of them together is an “OR” operation in PHP (and likely other places). If you don’t understand that, you’re probably not the target audience of the new place, where I will likely never swear or post photographs.

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I just pooped my pants.

Sarah and I decided to rent 1408 tonight because it has John Cusack and Samuel L. Jackson in it. Sarah screamed. Later, I went to the bathroom, but when I opened the door to come back, Sarah was standing silently in the darkened hallway. I screamed. We may never be able to sleep again.

I didn’t know that people actually scream. Terrifying.

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