At This Rate, We Could Be Here A — Oh. I Already Said That

I’m still uploading my entire 36 gigabyte gallery to my new web server. It’s taking forever, for suitable definitions of forever.

I asked Google how long it would take.

((36 - 22) * gigabytes) / (20 (kilobytes per second)) = 8.49540741 days

Thanks, Google.

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Son of Sam, Son of a Bitch

Gettin’ Paid, gettin’ rich

My team did… not well… in the programming contest today. I missed the opening at the Minnesota Center for/of/near Photography. I’m gonna go play Trivial Pursuit to make up for it.

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Happy Belated Birthday, Stan!

I feel kind of bad for not being prepared for Stan’s birthday yestertoday. That’s right, I just made up a word that means the day before the day that it technically is when you’re still awake from the day before and most people haven’t woken up for todaymorrow. I think that todaymorrow defines itself. Maybe I should go to sleep.

Stan is like the big brother that I should have had. I hope that he likes his two CDs of Death From Above 1979 goodness. Now he can rock OUT while washing the dishes.

Maybe I should wash the dishes for his birthday, too — or for any reason. Man, I’m the worst roommate ever.

Happy birthday, Stan! <3 <3 <3

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Photo Post

antenna
This was for the “abstract” assignment. How arty!

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The Plague

I got a flu shot today. Zach came in even though he was sick because he hungered for brains. I locked him out and barred the door, telling Kamran to stay quiet and maybe Zach would go eat a designer instead.

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Best searches ever

I recently started logging what people are searching for when they come to my site. I know, when people post search strings they are usually boring, but let’s just pretend that these are questions that are being asked of me, and answer them.

why do people roll up one of their pant legs when riding a bike?
To keep that pant leg from getting dirty from the chain.
my husband’s road rage is out of control what should I do
Murder him in his sleep.
how to hold the camera while getting a blow job
Put it down and be in the moment.
don’t hit me in the face
I wouldn’t hit you if you would just listen. I mean, I’m so sorry, I won’t do it again. I love you. I’ll get help, I promise! I promise.
“alarm clock for deaf people”
Shoot, I wish that I still had the link to that. I have one packed in a box.
how to break a union
If you can drop the union on the floor, it will break. If you can’t, you will have to hire the mafia. They can do it.
white trash apartment names
That isn’t even a question.
zachary smells like
Honey and flowers.
how do I go about selling my testicles
If you have already removed your testicles, try craigslist. If not, I guess you know what your first step is. Good luck.

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The Whole

This summer I started on a journey to rebuild the Whole Music Club’s website. It now features custom labelling of shows and bands with media management and stuff like that. Basically I beat my head against the data for a while and pooped out the back end code. Zach took the superstructure that I had built and laid some sweet html, css, and javascript on top of it. Our edifice that we erected (our erection, if you will) has already garnered praise from the staff and at least one band.

I wish that Paul had been here to hit it with the style hammer, though. Paul totally rules.

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Photos!

Lisa and Stan went to a murder mystery thing with Stan’s family. For some reason they dressed up and were covered in blood when they came home. Uh oh.


Stan is a motherfucking P I M P.

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Do You Wish You Were Here?

Like I wish I were with you?

Renee and Dean
Jesse, get your ass over here!

Renee and Dean sent me a lovely picture from their phone, perhaps rubbing it in that they live in most people’s definition of paradise — or maybe just reminding me that I have to get my pale butt to Hawaii. Lisa is going in January. Lucky.

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I’m Famous!

Well, uh, heh. If you obsessively read my Myspace page (I read yours hourly, so I expect you to do the same) then you might have seen Butler leave a somewhat cryptic comment:

Yo, what up, what up, what up? Nice to see you on the Internets. P.S. You’re prominently featured in some of the rough footage from Mpls. Prepare yourself. — Butler

He is referring to the concert footage from the Walt Mink reunion show at the Triple Rock, where I was standing near the stage and rocking the hell out. So, when the documentary about Walt Mink is finished (or they just throw some show footage on You Tube) you will be able to see me sweaty and throwing the horns (or whatever embarrassing thing I was doing).

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