Face the nightmarish consequences!

Zach finally got the Suckadelic CD. It’s all cartoon supervillains over breakbeats. I am losing my mind. Right now. It is being erased by an onslaught of awesomeness.


Cobra Commander is playing at my house. Gargamel is opening. Doors are at eight.

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Look, it’s Evan Dando!

I had planned to go to bed early tonight, but the Hawaii kids convinced me to go out one more time. First off was the Kitty Cat Klub, where some random electronic band was playing, and a dude who was at Marsha and Boot’s wedding was playing fucking bass! What the fuck? I was enjoying the bleeps and beats, but Renee, Dean, and Lisa all wanted to mosey somewhere downtown, so we piled into the Mom car and headed to First Avenue. No one was playing the mainroom, and besides, who goes to First Ave just to drink? Anyway, it was something like one AM, and Evan Dando was playing the Entry, so we went strolling in like we owned the place and everyone else boozed it on up while I chilled with a Summit. We heard just a song and a half before Dando departed the stage, but we stuck around because there was still beverage in our beverages. The lights came on and we all reminisced over our favorite Entry moments.

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Best Night Ever

Maybe not the best, but Lisa, Renee, Dean, Cake Woman, and I all went out and crawled around the downtown area, ending with Pizza Luce. Somehow we closed Pizza Luce, which kind of sucked because I wanted just one more booze. I played pool in an awful fashion at Brits, and there was movieoke at the Local. This all followed an afternoon of Futurama with cheesecake from Muddy Paws. Before that was Sawatdee, and before that was the Electric Fetus, where I did not buy what I expected at all.

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Get a Drink, the Wedding Is About To Start!

Literally, this guy was announcing that everyone should get a drink because the wedding was about to start. Now that is a wedding.

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Noah and Stan

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My driveway is empty

There is a big hole in my driveway where the open sore that was my red car used to be. I will be taking steps to fill it today:

  1. Record shopping (CDs)
  2. Food (something with a curry, or maybe an afternoon greasy breakfast, or a giant burrito, or some crazy curry burrito breakfast dish)
  3. Turn the slip and slide in the backyard back on and roll around in the gentle mist
  5. Record the new outgoing message on my voice mail onto the computer so that I can burn CDs of it. Somehow I managed to drunk dial my voice mail. The results are vaguely funny. Interestingly I sound the same when plastered as when I am not fully awake in the morning.

I’m waiting on a call back for accompaniment to some of the above. If you have ideas for enhancements to any of the above, please let me know.

This all reminds me of my list of rejected personals headlines:

  • I have my own car, and I can buy beer
  • I wrote a country song about poop
  • I like monkeys
  • Going to concerts alone makes me sad.
  • Books magically appear on the back of the toilet for me to read, otherwise I wouldn’t ever get around to it.
  • Pick the one fun class that I will take in the fall and win a prize
  • I’ve been getting my news from the Daily Show since Lizz Winstead.

Uh, there are more, but they drift off into disturbing humor and stop being true.

I’m currently reading The Clock Winder by Anne Tyler.

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Horay for weddings

I am DRUNK. Having a great weekend already. Thought of you, but settled for wine. And champagne. And Maker’s Mark. And beer. And… uh…

I drunk dialed Paul. Everyone else can just be jealous. Okay, I drunk dialed someone else, but it was too much work ot leave a message. Jerk. Paul called me back, we had a nice chat.

I’m aonlt asheamed that noah sees nme htis way.

the other inight we did not hve [pizza luce, but tonight we weill, without any drunken aiming of you. I know that you watn me to send yhou an emial, but no. I on purpose did not correct my touch tyupeinjg.I’m totlaly going to see the fringe festival.

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A Milestone Build

Woo hoo! I’m down to 200 pounds for the first time in years.

“What diet are you on?” you might ask.
“I’m on the see food diet!” I would respond.

Seriously, I eat whatever I want and drink whatever I want. However, I don’t want pop like I used to and I don’t want to eat or drink the gigantic servings that I used to. My key is to never be hungry and to only crave healthy things like pizza and cake.

Of course, that’s probably the lowest that my weight will be today, since it has been known to fluctuate within a ten pound range over a 24 hour period. Nonetheless, hitting this target weight means that it is officially time for chapter two, in which our hero investigates a thing called “exercise.” Will the mysteries never cease?

Despite the torrential downpours, the wedding is still on and theoretically outdoors.

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Why get a shoe shine

When you’re made of dirt?

Okay. Seriously. How did I let the Poster Children slip out of my consciousness? It’s not like they stopped making albums.

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