Selected quotes:
Fuck you, Loggins!
Hall and I will not stand idly by while you California vagina sailors stab the american airwaves in the balls with your shit music!
Episode #2 has Hall and Oates versus, uh, McDonald and Loggins.
There are no winners today, but I felt the power of really smooth music.
I can’t deal with how awesome these Yacht Rock videos are. I just can’t.
It’s entirely too bad that Cake Woman has to work tomorrow, because I think that she would really enjoy what my boss is hammering me to attend.
I was thinking that I should post some excerpts of our conversation tonight, but what the hell, I like to read drunken rants a lot. So should you:
Session Start (jessepmullan:zach): Fri Oct 14 23:53:36 2005
zach: zombies
zach: zombie pub crawl
zach: tomorrow
zach: you down
zach: or what
zach: GODDAMNIT
jessepmullan: nice
jessepmullan: I’m thinking that my zombie costume will be simple
jessepmullan: step one: cup of fake blood
jessepmullan: step two: inability to swallow fake blood
jessepmullan: step three: profit
zach: so we’re zombying on the morrow right
zach: you’ve cleared your shedool?
zach: schedule
jessepmullan: schedule?
jessepmullan: I ain’t got shit to do
zach: I mean it’s in your neighborhood for fuck’s sake
zach: so you better goddamn be there
zach: with the “Braaaaains” and the undeadening
zach: I’m very excited about the whole thign
zach: thing
zach: ikadh
zach: ADFdsjkhl
zach: ‘;
jessepmullan: braaaaaaaaaaains
zach: so really
zach: you’re going to zombie fest on the morrow
zach: right
jessepmullan: jesus, I already said yes
zach: NO YOU DIDN’T
zach: don’t you fuck with me man
zach: I’ve got a fish
zach: and it’s frozen
zach: it could do some damage
jessepmullan: that could very well kill me
zach: sorry I’m drunk
jessepmullan: hahahaahhahahahh
zach: I lied about the fish
zach: lied×0red
zach: http://www.xopl.com/blog/2005/10/15/fuckyouiamdrunk.html
zach: that doesn’t give away my true feelings too obviously
zach: does it?
jessepmullan: hahahahaahahaha
jessepmullan: you are so drunk
jessepmullan: I LOVE drunken blog posts
zach: I may have had a few
zach: or two
zach: I saw a preview of american The Office today
zach: with the boss having his minion come in early
zach: but only to deliver a sammich
zach: GENIUS
jessepmullan: heheheheeheh
zach: you two better watch out
jessepmullan: I so want to bring my camera tomorrow
zach: you HAVE to
zach: seriously
zach: …
zach: lkjsdmy presonsris posted
jessepmullan: what in the fuck did you just say?
zach: donty’ you tell me the fuck
jessepmullan: WOW
jessepmullan: you are amazingly drunk
zach: not as drunkas zomb ie zach is gonna be tomrorow
zach: something abot being dripping blodo at zpsycho zusuzy’s with a tiki dirink in zombie rgelaia is funny to me
jessepmullan: I gotta charge my phone
zach: what doe syor phone have ot do with this.?
jessepmullan: I might have to call 911 to have you reanimated
zach: hahahshhahhah
zach: is your number sitll 911?
zach: ALRIGHTY THEN
zach: i’m a wagchint dawn of the dead
zach: the lst aitime I watched this was the 2004 elections
zach: what a depressing night that was
jessepmullan: sonofa
jessepmullan: that would suck
zach: but I loves me some zombie
zach: s
jessepmullan: to have that association in your mind
zach: yeah well the zombiers make up for it
zach: a bit
jessepmullan: and when you get the dvd from me, you will love zombies a little too much
zach: w00t
zach: party at your housse in norderast tomrrow gnight rght?
zach: after psycho zusys
zach: aftger the zombie party
jessepmullan: yeahhhhh
jessepmullan: shit, that’s a pretty long walk
zach: don’t blakc aball me!!@
jessepmullan: the last time I was at psycho suzies a lady flashed me
zach: I like where this is going
zach: giggity gigityt
jessepmullan: all right
zach: as much as I love zom bies
zach: I’k reammlyt whtuite queecited about this zombie thing orowow
zach: that isn’t even english
zach: fuck
jessepmullan: that isn’t even text
jessepmullan: you just typed in some binary
zach: 100010101
zach: 1010
zach: 324
zach: abcdef
zach: g
zach: muthafucka
zach: what’s the 3 year old up tomorrow
zach: he should ocome out in zombie regalia
jessepmullan: if he wants to be eaten
jessepmullan: I bet he would love to go to the spooky store to buy spooky stuff
zach: wif a koopun?
zach: rowbits
zach: wut kind of rowbit areyou
zach: OH MY GOD
zach: OH NO
zach: ZOMBIES
zach: AT MY DOOR
zach: CAN’T HOLD HTEM OFF
zach: EATING MY BRAINS
zach: …
zach: …
zach: …’
zach: …
jessepmullan: by tomorrow you will be zombiefied
zach: Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaains
zach: Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaisn
jessepmullan: or sooner
I listen to a lot of Radio K again now, much like when I was 18 and prepping vegetables in the basement of the Speedy Market on Como. Yes, that was a long time ago, when Radio K was new and amazing. Anyway, I bought two watts on Monday during the festival of awesome and got no bonus Radio K gift pack or anything. Zach gets a day in his honor at some point, but all that I got was a slap in the face, and not even by a K staffer, just by some random dude fulfilling his karmic duty to beat the crap out of me. He hasn’t found me yet, but he will, and then I will get my amazing radio K prize pack.
Anyway, yesterday the rewards were amazing. The guests were two women from First Avenue who work in the booking office (or something like that). The reward for buying one watt was to get on the guest list for a private party in the Entry that one of them was putting on, and two watts would get you onto the list for a birthday party in the Entry in December. Eleven watts got you on the list for Mike Doughty, which would be fairly amazing, since I was one of those rabid Soul Coughing fans back in the day (but honestly, I still haven’t gotten around to listening to his solo stuff, possibly because I heard someone compare it to Dave Matthews Band, which, for the love of crap, I can’t seem to bring myself to stand).
Okay, so those things were amazing, but then they said that four watts would earn one double date with the two staffers and a male friend of your choice (or just you and the two of them? Who knows, who cares, I could fashion a convincing dummy to prop up in the chair next to me, and do a little ventriloquism to make it seem like he and I were divvying up the lady folk. He’s probably get the redhead, but he’s a jerk anyway). Just to hammer the point home, they gave the link to First Avenue’s myspace site (who knew that First Ave was a sixteen year old girl from AOL?) which had links to each of their accounts: Kate and Steph.
Amazing!
So, seeking to be sold on purchasing insane numbers of extra watts to get tickets plus a date (I mean, come ON, that’s $150 and I feel guilty when I spend $3.20 on pizza each day instead of packing two cups of beans and rice), I sent an email. Also, I like to harrass the DJs — it’s free for me and cheap for them.
Subject: If I were to buy fifteen watts
Would I get the tickets plus two dates?
What am I saying? I can’t afford to buy any more watts.
Or maybe I can’t afford NOT to buy watts.
definitely is our first answer. we would like to know what show you want tickets to though. let me know and then we will confirm and then you can call 626.rock - thanks jesse!
chris the dj
The devil on my shoulder is telling me that I should buy more watts, but the angel told me that I have purchased plenty of watts.
What was that myspace url?
myspace.com/firstavenuenightclub
the girls say “listen to the devil”
i tend to concur.
chris the dj
I did get to the first ave myspace page, and upon seeing cute women the devil was jumping up and down and waving his pitchfork around. However, the angel came back from the bathroom and put his foot down. So, despite my rampant singleness, I will not be purchasing female accompaniment.
Now I have to go to class, all sad from not giving in to my urge to buy irresponsible numbers of watts.
ok thank you though jesse!
chris
About halfway through class I regretted not just signing up to be a recharger. I mean, that’s $10 a month that I will probably never miss - that is until they do it when my checking account is empty like the place where my soul should be. Then, bounced transaction fees, and… uh… crap. I should totally do the recharging thing the next time they have a useful reward — well, more useful than the slap that I will already be getting.
Cake Woman called me yesterday because she wanted to do the Thursday museum thing. Unfortunately, between class, work, and the midterm that I have tonight, I only have time for food, and not for wandering around heckling artwork. Since that fell through, she told me that I have to drive to Anoka on Friday night to see her apartment. Since she lives in Anoka, or, as I like to call it, the South End of the North Pole, there is nothing to do there but drink and watch cartoons. I’m not sure how that will work out. She might have to work on Saturday, so this will probably just end with me being evicted at midnight and having to make my way cross country Journey of Natty Gann-style.
So today I turn on the K to hear an unexpected and familiar voice — Sheela Namakkal! She was one of my favorite people in high school, and she was working at Wells Fargo when I was (I assume that she still is, but I don’t know). Flushed with excitement, I send of another email to the studio:
Subject: SHEELA!
The guests just keep getting better and better!I’m amazed. Hi, Sheela!
Sheela says buy watts
Sigh.
It must be Halloween season, because my freudian deafness is turning Beach Boys songs into goth masterworks.
You may or may not be aware that I’ve got a lure dangling in the water on a personals site or two. Yes, I had some success this spring (well, success in injecting my life with glorious complications), but towards the end of the summer I reeled in my line and took a nap in the dating boat. I had travel and stuff. Really. Anyway, despite being crunched for time during the week, my weekends are reasonably open and I need to find people who are neither male computer nerds nor giggly freshman girls to hang out with and do things like:
How is that so hard? You’d think that a smart, funny, charming, bitter, sarcastic bastard like me would be swimming in a pool full of ladies. Literally full. No water, just the ladies. Imagine me as Scrooge McDuck, and you’re on board the awesome train.
That reminds me of what I told Zach that I was doing on Halloween:
I’ll tell you what I’m not doing. I’m not going to wake up in a field the day after missing a kidney again — not three years in a row! Fool me once, shame on… shame on you, fool me — can’t get fooled again.
Uh, you only have two kidneys to start with.
Shit. I’d better get me on some dialysis.
Here’s something that I’m not putting in my ad, but maybe I should, because it would weed out people who wouldn’t think that I’m funny.
- The first thing(s) people usually notice about me:
- People tend to notice the blood on my hands and clothes. Sure, I try to play it off as a ketchup making accident, but eventually they figure out that it is murder most foul, and then I have to start the cycle of killing again with a new witness. It’s really getting kind of tiresome.
Note to self: get some sleep, dude, you are all over the place today.
Yesterday when I should have been working on homework I went to see Pretty Persuasion and have tapas sabrosas! Solera was fucking delicious!
When I got home I spent the entire night twiddling bits. No, I don’t mean the five knuckle shuffle, I mean applying bitmasks and cursing bitwise operations left and right. Somewhere around the time that Stan got up I went downstairs to pee.
“Hey, Jesse, why are you up so early?”
“I’m still up.”
“Oh, maybe going to the movie last night wasn’t such a good idea.”
Possibly, although the movie and food consumed like three and a half hours and the homework took… nine. Nine grueling hours of C. However, I did learn useful skills, like how to count the bits in an integer without using loops. What am I saying? That will never be useful.
I bought a couple of watts in the powersurge. So did Zach. Two of my four favorite DJs were on the air (and King Kwong is on the air now, which makes three out of four). David Hill from the Whole downstairs was on the air, so it was like a big party full of awesomeness and joy. We totally blew up their goals for their shift, so rock on, K. Rock on with your bad self.
If you want to play a game along with your Radio K listening experience, you could try out DJ Bingo. If you have ever been involved with college radio (or just listened to it) you might enjoy the experience. It was inspired by the Strong Bad radio bit. If I ever take a day off of work to… uh… drink, I will listen to Radio K and use the DJ Bingo game, although such activities are actually absolutely contraindicated on the page.
I may have purchased a new walking around lens for my good camera. Ahem.
Zach said:
Time for me to board that train
I asked:
The booze train?
Zach replied:
Woo woo!
And that about sums up the night. I kind of wanted to go to see John Vanderslice at the entry, but I’m just too fucking tired from a week full of homework, midterms, and apparently making a minor ass out of myself on thefacebook.com.
you must let up on the come ons, please you are killing me. Just act like a normal person
I wasn’t so much hitting on her as acting like I was hitting on her for our mutual amusement, but I can understand the confusion. My personal rule is that if someone doesn’t get a joke, it’s my fault, not theirs.
At least she understands that I am not a normal person, just an abnormal person occasionally acting like a normal person.
Riding keeps you warm, except for certain parts: any pasty white flesh that gets exposed to the wind and your nuts, which, upon a two degree drop in temperature, will retract back into your body. I thought that I was having an asthma attack until I got inside and felt my nuts drop back out of my throat. As my claws melted I regretted not grabbing any of my ten pairs of gloves. I’m not sure how I’m going to solve the hat issue - maybe I will try a bandana or putting tape over the holes in my helmet. I just don’t want to be bandana guy. He’s not me. Really.
I did not fix my walkin’ around camera. I am sorely tempted to buy a brand new camera. I’ve got the shakes from camera withdrawl.
Honestly, I would do a lot for unfettered access to a foosball table. I love foosball and I need to practice my snake shot. Mind you, I’m not like the semi-pro players at Mortimers with their rosin bags and special wrap for the foosball handles, but I used to be pretty good. I coulda been a contender.
Anyway, I went to Sally’s with Paul and Victoria from work tonight. Victoria is one of the designers and let slip that there is a foosball table at her house. I am smitten!
I’ve said too much! I blame the Summit Oktoberfest, which was delicious.
script.aculo.us - web 2.0 javascript
Zach has been having a series of orgasms on the other side of our shared desk, so I guess that script.aculo.us is the amazingest of amazing. I’m not having the same response that Zach is, but then I haven’t been playing with it all day for two days like he has.
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