Written on Wednesday, the 21st of May, 2003 at 1:07 am and was filed under:
Diversions
Joss Whedon rules. Go watch the Buffy finale!
This week on Buffy:
INT. SUMMERS' HOME - DINING ROOM - NIGHT
Giles sits at the table with Xander. There is a pile of books and plans before us, so we can't see the map they are referring to. AMANDA looks on, and an ND potential. They are tired, but earnest.
GILES: I've gotten turned around. You're here.
XANDER: By the pillar, yeah. I'm protecting this area.
GILES: That puts me here. By the door. Demons around the perimeter… right. So I open the door.
Widen to find ANDREW, reading from an old rule book with some handwritten notes on loose leaf. And, oh, yeah, he's wearing a red cloak, hood up.
ANDREW: You go through the door… you are confronted by Trogdor the Burninator.
GILES: Bugger all. Fight.
Giles rolls ten-sided dice.
ANDREW: Adios to five hit points. Trogdor has badly wounded you.
GILES: What about my bag of illusions?
ANDREW: Illusions? Against a burninator?
(chuckles)
Silly, silly British man.
AMANDA: I invoke a time flux on Trogdor.
ANDREW: Step down, girlfriend, you can't just –
AMANDA: Ninth level sorcerer, and I carry the emerald chalice. Trogdor is frozen in time, deal with it.
XANDER: Smackdown on red riding hood ! This could get ugly.
GILES: Could it possibly get uglier? I used to be a highly respected Watcher. Now I'm a wounded dwarf with the mystical strength of a doily.
(rubs his eyes)
I wish I could just sleep.
AMANDA: What kind of person could sleep on a night like this?
WIDEN to find Anya, head on the table, snoring away. Xander puts a hand on her head, affectionately.
XANDER: Only the crazy ones.
By the way, I think that this means that I should go to bed.
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Written on Friday, the 16th of May, 2003 at 12:19 pm and was filed under:
Diversions
Last night the guys came over for Magic night, but again, there was no playing of Magic the Gathering. Instead, we grilled bratwursts and watched the moon turn an evil blood red- well, gray red really. Actually, it was kind of a dirty brown color. Never mind.
Matt Dees said:
why is it that after i take out my contacts and brush my teeth i become
awake again?
anywho the navy likes eclipses too actually there is another total lunar
this year and if you want to go to antartica or austrailia you can see a
total solar as well…
http://aa.usno.navy.mil/data/docs/LunarEclipse.html
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Written on Thursday, the 15th of May, 2003 at 10:34 am and was filed under:
Diversions
You know how in movies, people always wake up by snapping open their eyes and leaping out of bed? That just ain't right. People who do that are actually evil robots like the Terminator (as played by Arnold “It's not a tumor” Schwarzenegger). Humans wake up slowly, and stumble around until they get their coffee - or until noon, whichever comes first.
Check your friends. Check yourself. Evil robots are everywhere.
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Written on Wednesday, the 7th of May, 2003 at 7:12 pm and was filed under:
Diversions
I had a sudden craving for rap mixed with marching band. There really needs to be more of it, and I'm not talking about the flashy twirly stuff- I want funky drummin', screaming wild brass, and the biggest bass drums you can find. If you can mount timpani in wheelbarrows I don't think it would be too much.
Then again, I'm weird.
Lil' Kim rapped in The Jump Off:
I got my eye on the guy in the Woolrich coat
Don't he know Queen Bee got the ill deep throat?
Uh! Let me show you what I'm all about
How I make a Sprite can disappear in my mouth….HO!!!!
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Written on Wednesday, the 7th of May, 2003 at 12:30 am and was filed under:
Diversions
Dolly Parton sang in the classic song “9 to 3″:
Tumble out of bed and stumble to the kitchen,
Pour myself a cup of ambition,
yawn and stretch and try to come alive.
Jump in the shower, blood starts pumpin
Out in the streets traffic starts jumpin
With folks like me on the job from 9 to 3
Workin 9 to 3 what a way to make a living,
Barely gettin by, It's all talkin and no givin
They just use your mind and they never give you credit
It's enough to drive you crazy if you let it
etc. etc. more yammering etc.
I would have rhymed “jumpin'”, “pumpin'” and “humpin'“, or perhaps “funkin'“.
Matt said:
Did you really score some work? Do tell.
And, if you did, just make sure you don't get all tied up like the dude in the movie.
Mike Anson said:
Unless you're getting paid for that sort of thing.
To which I respond:
Yep, I'm a temp again. Of course, my first day was last Wednesday and I proceeded to injure my back that evening while babysitting. Thursday I spent on the floor. When I had to pee bad enough I forced myself to crawl into the bathroom and pulled myself up onto the toilet. It was a real “Drama in Real Life” moment. By that evening I was sort of able to walk, but I required frequent visits to the floor to lie down. Friday I started to turn into a normal person again: I could stagger around in a semblance of normalcy by the afternoon. By Friday evening I could sit in a chair for an hour or so. Over the weekend a team of engineers made me better, faster, stronger. Now it just occasionally feels like something has been bolted to my kidneys.
My job is scheduling appointments for an Executive Vice President and supporting her employees and coworkers. Next door is the company travel agent who is constantly saying things like “it might be easier if you have a stop in Seattle on your way back from Japan“, and “I have you scheduled for a flight to London on the 10th”. I want to fly overseas, instead of wincing in my office because I can't quite get comfortable in my chair.
I don't think that I could get into getting tied up, unless it was by asian and redhead chicks. Um, nevermind. I'm a little tired and loopy from Ibuprofen.
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Written on Monday, the 5th of May, 2003 at 11:24 pm and was filed under:
Diversions
I watched Jackass the movie last night. I wasn't that surprised, except by some of the pranks. I have to say that “pranks” are more entertaining to me than “stunts”. I even enjoyed watching the random head shavings. Go figure.
Of course, for pranks I try to go right to the source: Trigger Happy TV. I love the US version as much as I did the filtered UK version, but for different reasons. I think that it has become more insane, and by insane I mean good insane, flashing lights insane. Yes.
I'm watching Trigger Happy right now, and it appears that they were filming right here in Minneapolis, approximately 19 floors and half a block from where I'm temping. I only wish that I could have been there to… uh… help.
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Written on Monday, the 5th of May, 2003 at 11:01 pm and was filed under:
Music
I like beatboxing. Please enjoy the rap stylings of Rahzel:
Rahzel - Make the Music 2000 - Carbon Copy (I Can't Stop)
I can't stop
I really don't care about those other carbon copies
Don't stop Papi- don't stop
Yo! I'm the microphone champion Any stage you get me on or let me on
My ambiance is one step beyond
Then my song is a correspond with the audience
Experience the Renaissance my resonance is really on
Wonder Twin Powers activate
Put the tape on. I can take on any shape, form size or weight, shape of
Activation Voltron
Imagine all the microphones in the world I spit it on
Imagine the next MC step to me gettin' [scratch] on
You can even ask the girl about the bed we did it on
I hit it from the back to Marvin Gaye's Let's Get it On
Don't get it wrong, give her a thong, she put it on, in uniform
Sippin' Dom Perignon, Shawn Don, filet mignon
Long horns stick and move till the cameras come on
Until the cameras are gone from there on, dusk till dawn
Get your grind on, now put your panties back on
Thank you for your cooperation
Rahzel, on your Hot 97 station
I really don't care about those other carbon copies
Don't stop Papi- don't stop
(Baby crying)
Oh what's wrong Rahzel?
You're trying to sing?
Don't worry baby, when you grow up you're gonna be a star!
Yo, I'm one of the illest vocalists to ever turn the mic on
Let me download my sound, catalog the microns
[Computer noises] Turn your website on
WWW dot transmission d-d-d-d-d-dot sitcom
Got your girl buck naked on the cover of Right On
3-d visually enhanced on your CD-ROM
EP-ROM, erasable, programmable and only
Memory accessible when you're pc's on
We can battle for your soul like Ki Yong Song
We can battle for your girl like Rae Dawn Chong
Yo you're mother's so fat she wears a three piece thong
Made of polyester-acrylic, rip stop nylon
With a skully cap that stretches three feet long
98 degrees outside, with a sheepskin on
I play you and your mom like Donkey Kong
Check this out: [Donkey Kong noises]
I really don't care about those other carbon copies
Don't stop Papi- don't stop
Yo we got the hotness, wildest fiber optic, Double O 7 James Bond, talkin' in your watch [scratch]
Watch this, Baywatch [scratch]
Topless, there's no way you could stop this, spotless
Keep the flame up in the cockpit
(?)
or some New Kids on the Block shit
My purse net is nothin' but profit
While you keep secrets and gossip
The Officer, the Gentleman
Chiseled out, President, call me Lou Gosset
This is for the players who pop [scratch]
Frontin like you got [scratch]
PhD., without the doctorate
If it wasn't for break beats, you'd be rhymin' over my [scratch]
Often transformin' on stage, the Super DJ
2000 beats per minute, with an arcade
Round 1 fight, Street Fighter 3, pro tools with the upgrade
Call the paramedics to FedEx some first aid
My calisthenics been magnetic since first grade
We can battle in the doorway or the hallway
We can take the shit to the street, off and on Broadway
We can battle where you buy your cheap ass clothes in front of Conway
We can battle in the passenger seat of your motherfuckin Hyundai
I really don't care about those other carbon copies
Don't stop Papi- don't stop
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Written on Tuesday, the 29th of April, 2003 at 6:00 pm and was filed under:
Diversions
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Written on Saturday, the 26th of April, 2003 at 9:36 pm and was filed under:
Diversions
Everyone likes schoolgirls, and some people like dress up and paper dolls. If you are one of those people and are under the age of 18, don't visit Normal Bob Smith's website. I like humor, I like sacrilege and heresy, I like this site - but if you think that Marilyn Manson is not funny, you might not want to enter the world of Normal Bob.
Right now he has 114 pages of hate mail and 26 pages of fan mail. How will you weigh in? I leave that decision as an exercise for the reader.
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Written on Friday, the 25th of April, 2003 at 2:37 am and was filed under:
Diversions
This just makes me think of Motörhead. Lemmy is secretly Saddam, I think.
Well, I did have original material until I read this thread on fark. Now I got nothin'. Oh well. Print your own deck of cards.
Wait, I can contribute something to the excitement! How about a reference to a reference? Strong Bad refers to Lemmy at the end of this email…
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