Speaking of Getting a Scratch
The doctor says that I can’t ride my bike for at least two weeks. Starting two days ago.
Ow. Ow. Ow. I think it’s time to take an 800mg ibuprofen tablet. Ow. Ow. Ow.
Just Cut It Off, Already
Yesterday my knee hurt. I woke up this morning at 6am or so with my knee so cramped up that I couldn’t move it. I hobbled to the bathroom and back, trying to be quiet, but when I crawled into bed again it was all I could do to not gouge out my own eyes just to take my mind off of my knee. Of course I couldn’t be quiet enough, but instead of waking up and killing me for waking her up, Cake Woman got me an ice pack. This morning she made me coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Lube, Oil, Filter
I took the afternoon off to pick up the plates for my car at the dealership and have them change the oil. In the future I will be scheduling such excursions outside of working hours, but I figured that 13 days was plenty of days to drive with an expired 21 day pass. If you’re thinking that I have become a heathen who revels in frivolous oil consumption, (perhaps because of some grumpy tirades I may have posted in response to the bicycle community’s fetishistic affair with their own two wheels) you might be right. I am gleeful in having a stereo to pass the time of my commute.
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Double Magic
Last night’s Chipotle and a strong cup of coffee both cast spells on me this morning. I crapped so much that I saw my soul.
Sunday Bloody Sunday
Today I borrowed my mom’s husband’s truck, bought a couch, delivered it, unwrapped it, returned the truck, helped my mom’s husband clean the basement for his upcoming asbestos abatement, came home, and took all of the packaging from the couch and all of the empty boxes from Cake Woman’s and my moves outside.
Superdickery
I thought Superman was okay. I didn’t expect it to turn into a pirate movie at the end, and it was kind of weird to suddently have Johnny Depp show up, but maybe I shouldn’t have fallen asleep in the middle. It might have made more sense if I could have actually seen Lex Luthor call up the pirates to fight Superman for him. But then, it wasn’t very Supermanish at the end — I mean, he wasn’t even there. Really, it was like one of those dreams where you’re trying to do one thing and you can’t quite do it, and then all of a sudden you’re at your old elementary school and you’re trying to return a book or something but you can’t find the library and there are Cthulu pirates.
I Put On My Robe And Wizard’s Hat
Cake Woman wanted to find a place to hang up her robe, so I started singing the BloodNinja exchange to her, assuming that she had actually been on the internet at some point in her life. She had not, so she looked at me like I was fucking crazy.
Who’s the crazy one now? Huh? Huh?
Say it!
HAARRRRRR!!!!!
How Was Work?
Zach left early because of some mysterious fumes from the third floor. He really missed out because after he left my spirit animal came and showed me the truth of everything. It was amazing. He sounded just like Johnny Cash.
Smells Like White Trash Welfare
A week or so ago Cake Woman gave me a bag of baby spinach to eat. Needless to say, I was unable to consume a large enough quantity of sammiches and salads to use up a bag of raw spinach. Not wanting it to go to waste, I decided to cook it up, greens-style. It turned out okay for something that I literally just threw into a pan and ate, so the last time that I went to the store I decided that I should get some greens for realZ and try to do it up southern-style. Cake Woman has banned pork, so I didn’t pick up any swine knuckles or other waste meat to simmer down, but a bucket of garlic, some green onions, and a New Mexico (Anaheim, Hatch, whatevs) pepper rounded out the fixins’.
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