Legalize It!
Honestly, enough with the fucking steroids already. What does it matter if a professional athlete has been juicing it? It’s a victimless crime. The bigger crime is that there are professional athletes.
Did I mention my desire to cancel the organized sports at the University? FUCK THOSE ASSHOLES. Get a job, fuckers. Also, hold some classes in that fucking Alumni fucking center if it is so fucking great already. Jesus fucking Christ.
Really, I just want to get HUGE and ripped.
Finally A Use For All That Clipart!
I have to stop buying those terrible “1 million pieces of clip art for $1″ discs in the bargain bins at the store. That is, unless I start making sweet ass animations like this: 787 Cliparts.
(It’s not only SFW, if you work in a marketing or design department, you can pretend that you are working!)
What Do Pirates Call Taking A Dump?
Me: I think that it is time for the campus club [ed: the bar one floor down from Zach’s office]
Zach: are we going?
Me: I’ll go if you go
Zach: ok I might dock a boat then
Zach: before
Me: you mean scuttle a ship in the pearly white ocean?
Zach: drop the coast guard rescue diver into the white seas
Me: Eew. That implies that you will be reeling the diver back into the rescue helicopter.
Zach: with guest.
Jack of All Trades
The Best Show Ever is Out On DVD!
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I’m Looking Forward To Black Tarry Stools
Dear Ibuprofen,
I know what you’re up to. It is not appropriate for you to instigate allergic reactions and eat away at the lining of my stomach and intestines. I don’t mind the nausea, but the rest has to stop. Except for making my knee not hurt. That is quite all right, and I would like you to continue your fine work in that area.
Thank you.
Air
“No more gin and tonics for you, I need you to be useful tonight,” she said, her eyebrows arching to angry effect.
Restate as x’ = Bu
My linear algebra test did not go as well as I had hoped. I know that I made some regular algebra mistakes, since one of the matrices that I produced was by definition defective. That meant that parts two and three simply went undone.
Undone.
I think that if I would have had another hour I would have been fine, but I’ve lost my intuition for algebra. I’m just not fast like I used to be.
800mg
800 mg of ibuprofen sounds like a lot of painkiller. Multiply it by three and you have the amount of knee-deadening I have been doing each day this week.
I WILL EAT YOUR BRAINS
With apologies to Aphex Twin.
The zombie pub crawl this year is on September 9th, 2006. I expect you to be there in full zombie drag. If you can’t get your own makeup together, have a voodoo priestess actually kill you and raise you from the dead again. I did, and I feel great.
Warning: do not let the fake blood touch anything that you cannot steam clean. Gross.
