How Nintendo Are You?

How nintendo are you?

Joss Whedon rules. Go watch the Buffy finale!

This week on Buffy:


Giles sits at the table with Xander. There is a pile of books and plans before us, so we can't see the map they are referring to. AMANDA looks on, and an ND potential. They are tired, but earnest.

GILES: I've gotten turned around. You're here.

XANDER: By the pillar, yeah. I'm protecting this area.

GILES: That puts me here. By the door. Demons around the perimeter… right. So I open the door.

Widen to find ANDREW, reading from an old rule book with some handwritten notes on loose leaf. And, oh, yeah, he's wearing a red cloak, hood up.

ANDREW: You go through the door… you are confronted by Trogdor the Burninator.

GILES: Bugger all. Fight.

Giles rolls ten-sided dice.

ANDREW: Adios to five hit points. Trogdor has badly wounded you.

GILES: What about my bag of illusions?

ANDREW: Illusions? Against a burninator?


Silly, silly British man.

AMANDA: I invoke a time flux on Trogdor.

ANDREW: Step down, girlfriend, you can't just –

AMANDA: Ninth level sorcerer, and I carry the emerald chalice. Trogdor is frozen in time, deal with it.

XANDER: Smackdown on red riding hood ! This could get ugly.

GILES: Could it possibly get uglier? I used to be a highly respected Watcher. Now I'm a wounded dwarf with the mystical strength of a doily.

(rubs his eyes)

I wish I could just sleep.

AMANDA: What kind of person could sleep on a night like this?

WIDEN to find Anya, head on the table, snoring away. Xander puts a hand on her head, affectionately.

XANDER: Only the crazy ones.

By the way, I think that this means that I should go to bed.

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Fade to Black

There is a good chance that will go away for a while, since I can't afford to renew the domain name and DNS services. It's expiring today, so you might not even read this. Don't worry, this “content” won't disappear into the Matrix, but it might hide for a while.

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Lunar Eclipse

Last night the guys came over for Magic night, but again, there was no playing of Magic the Gathering. Instead, we grilled bratwursts and watched the moon turn an evil blood red- well, gray red really. Actually, it was kind of a dirty brown color. Never mind.

Matt Dees said:

why is it that after i take out my contacts and brush my teeth i become
awake again?

anywho the navy likes eclipses too actually there is another total lunar
this year and if you want to go to antartica or austrailia you can see a
total solar as well…

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Morning people are evil robots in disguise

You know how in movies, people always wake up by snapping open their eyes and leaping out of bed? That just ain't right. People who do that are actually evil robots like the Terminator (as played by Arnold “It's not a tumor” Schwarzenegger). Humans wake up slowly, and stumble around until they get their coffee - or until noon, whichever comes first.

Check your friends. Check yourself. Evil robots are everywhere.

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I gotta get me a Woolrich coat

I had a sudden craving for rap mixed with marching band. There really needs to be more of it, and I'm not talking about the flashy twirly stuff- I want funky drummin', screaming wild brass, and the biggest bass drums you can find. If you can mount timpani in wheelbarrows I don't think it would be too much.

Then again, I'm weird.

Lil' Kim rapped in The Jump Off:

I got my eye on the guy in the Woolrich coat

Don't he know Queen Bee got the ill deep throat?

Uh! Let me show you what I'm all about

How I make a Sprite can disappear in my mouth….HO!!!!

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I got a new “job”, and I’d like to sing a song about it.

Dolly Parton sang in the classic song “9 to 3″:

Tumble out of bed and stumble to the kitchen,

Pour myself a cup of ambition,

yawn and stretch and try to come alive.

Jump in the shower, blood starts pumpin

Out in the streets traffic starts jumpin

With folks like me on the job from 9 to 3

Workin 9 to 3 what a way to make a living,

Barely gettin by, It's all talkin and no givin

They just use your mind and they never give you credit

It's enough to drive you crazy if you let it

etc. etc. more yammering etc.

I would have rhymed “jumpin'”, “pumpin'” and “humpin'“, or perhaps “funkin'“.

Matt said:

Did you really score some work? Do tell.
And, if you did, just make sure you don't get all tied up like the dude in the movie.

Mike Anson said:

Unless you're getting paid for that sort of thing.

To which I respond:

Yep, I'm a temp again. Of course, my first day was last Wednesday and I proceeded to injure my back that evening while babysitting. Thursday I spent on the floor. When I had to pee bad enough I forced myself to crawl into the bathroom and pulled myself up onto the toilet. It was a real “Drama in Real Life” moment. By that evening I was sort of able to walk, but I required frequent visits to the floor to lie down. Friday I started to turn into a normal person again: I could stagger around in a semblance of normalcy by the afternoon. By Friday evening I could sit in a chair for an hour or so. Over the weekend a team of engineers made me better, faster, stronger. Now it just occasionally feels like something has been bolted to my kidneys.

My job is scheduling appointments for an Executive Vice President and supporting her employees and coworkers. Next door is the company travel agent who is constantly saying things like “it might be easier if you have a stop in Seattle on your way back from Japan“, and “I have you scheduled for a flight to London on the 10th”. I want to fly overseas, instead of wincing in my office because I can't quite get comfortable in my chair.

I don't think that I could get into getting tied up, unless it was by asian and redhead chicks. Um, nevermind. I'm a little tired and loopy from Ibuprofen.

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�Corona� by the Minutemen

I watched Jackass the movie last night. I wasn't that surprised, except by some of the pranks. I have to say that “pranks” are more entertaining to me than “stunts”. I even enjoyed watching the random head shavings. Go figure.

Of course, for pranks I try to go right to the source: Trigger Happy TV. I love the US version as much as I did the filtered UK version, but for different reasons. I think that it has become more insane, and by insane I mean good insane, flashing lights insane. Yes.

I'm watching Trigger Happy right now, and it appears that they were filming right here in Minneapolis, approximately 19 floors and half a block from where I'm temping. I only wish that I could have been there to… uh… help.

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I really don’t care about those other carbon copies

I like beatboxing. Please enjoy the rap stylings of Rahzel:

Rahzel - Make the Music 2000 - Carbon Copy (I Can't Stop)

I can't stop

I really don't care about those other carbon copies

Don't stop Papi- don't stop

Yo! I'm the microphone champion Any stage you get me on or let me on

My ambiance is one step beyond

Then my song is a correspond with the audience

Experience the Renaissance my resonance is really on

Wonder Twin Powers activate

Put the tape on. I can take on any shape, form size or weight, shape of

Activation Voltron

Imagine all the microphones in the world I spit it on

Imagine the next MC step to me gettin' [scratch] on

You can even ask the girl about the bed we did it on

I hit it from the back to Marvin Gaye's Let's Get it On

Don't get it wrong, give her a thong, she put it on, in uniform

Sippin' Dom Perignon, Shawn Don, filet mignon

Long horns stick and move till the cameras come on

Until the cameras are gone from there on, dusk till dawn

Get your grind on, now put your panties back on

Thank you for your cooperation

Rahzel, on your Hot 97 station

I really don't care about those other carbon copies

Don't stop Papi- don't stop

(Baby crying)

Oh what's wrong Rahzel?

You're trying to sing?

Don't worry baby, when you grow up you're gonna be a star!

Yo, I'm one of the illest vocalists to ever turn the mic on

Let me download my sound, catalog the microns

[Computer noises] Turn your website on

WWW dot transmission d-d-d-d-d-dot sitcom

Got your girl buck naked on the cover of Right On

3-d visually enhanced on your CD-ROM

EP-ROM, erasable, programmable and only

Memory accessible when you're pc's on

We can battle for your soul like Ki Yong Song

We can battle for your girl like Rae Dawn Chong

Yo you're mother's so fat she wears a three piece thong

Made of polyester-acrylic, rip stop nylon

With a skully cap that stretches three feet long

98 degrees outside, with a sheepskin on

I play you and your mom like Donkey Kong

Check this out: [Donkey Kong noises]

I really don't care about those other carbon copies

Don't stop Papi- don't stop

Yo we got the hotness, wildest fiber optic, Double O 7 James Bond, talkin' in your watch [scratch]

Watch this, Baywatch [scratch]

Topless, there's no way you could stop this, spotless

Keep the flame up in the cockpit


or some New Kids on the Block shit

My purse net is nothin' but profit

While you keep secrets and gossip

The Officer, the Gentleman

Chiseled out, President, call me Lou Gosset

This is for the players who pop [scratch]

Frontin like you got [scratch]

PhD., without the doctorate

If it wasn't for break beats, you'd be rhymin' over my [scratch]

Often transformin' on stage, the Super DJ

2000 beats per minute, with an arcade

Round 1 fight, Street Fighter 3, pro tools with the upgrade

Call the paramedics to FedEx some first aid

My calisthenics been magnetic since first grade

We can battle in the doorway or the hallway

We can take the shit to the street, off and on Broadway

We can battle where you buy your cheap ass clothes in front of Conway

We can battle in the passenger seat of your motherfuckin Hyundai

I really don't care about those other carbon copies

Don't stop Papi- don't stop

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I don’t think it was a vertebra after all

Here I am at my new temp job, enjoying that sort of illicit pleasure that one derives from doing non-work-related things at one's desk. I guess that it is technically my lunch, so I can't get in to too much trouble. Did I mention the sensation of fire ants nibbling on my spine? Oh joy! There's only so much that Acetaminophen can do for you, and then it's just raw guts that keeps you temping. Temper Fi!

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Could I borrow a cup of Vertebrae?

Ow. I pulled something in my back while watching the cutest baby in the world. I lay on the floor while Melissa tried to get Noah to sleep. He screamed for an hour and a half before Lisa and Stan got home, and then was asleep within minutes.

I slept on the floor there. Last night I could barely roll onto my side. In the morning I was able to crawl to the bathroom. Now I can stumble around on two feet, but I often need things to brace me.

I'm gonna make it to work tomorrow dag gummit.

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