Best searches ever

I recently started logging what people are searching for when they come to my site. I know, when people post search strings they are usually boring, but let’s just pretend that these are questions that are being asked of me, and answer them.

why do people roll up one of their pant legs when riding a bike?
To keep that pant leg from getting dirty from the chain.
my husband’s road rage is out of control what should I do
Murder him in his sleep.
how to hold the camera while getting a blow job
Put it down and be in the moment.
don’t hit me in the face
I wouldn’t hit you if you would just listen. I mean, I’m so sorry, I won’t do it again. I love you. I’ll get help, I promise! I promise.
“alarm clock for deaf people”
Shoot, I wish that I still had the link to that. I have one packed in a box.
how to break a union
If you can drop the union on the floor, it will break. If you can’t, you will have to hire the mafia. They can do it.
white trash apartment names
That isn’t even a question.
zachary smells like
Honey and flowers.
how do I go about selling my testicles
If you have already removed your testicles, try craigslist. If not, I guess you know what your first step is. Good luck.

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The Whole

This summer I started on a journey to rebuild the Whole Music Club’s website. It now features custom labelling of shows and bands with media management and stuff like that. Basically I beat my head against the data for a while and pooped out the back end code. Zach took the superstructure that I had built and laid some sweet html, css, and javascript on top of it. Our edifice that we erected (our erection, if you will) has already garnered praise from the staff and at least one band.

I wish that Paul had been here to hit it with the style hammer, though. Paul totally rules.

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Lisa and Stan went to a murder mystery thing with Stan’s family. For some reason they dressed up and were covered in blood when they came home. Uh oh.

Stan is a motherfucking P I M P.

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Do You Wish You Were Here?

Like I wish I were with you?

Renee and Dean
Jesse, get your ass over here!

Renee and Dean sent me a lovely picture from their phone, perhaps rubbing it in that they live in most people’s definition of paradise — or maybe just reminding me that I have to get my pale butt to Hawaii. Lisa is going in January. Lucky.

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I’m Famous!

Well, uh, heh. If you obsessively read my Myspace page (I read yours hourly, so I expect you to do the same) then you might have seen Butler leave a somewhat cryptic comment:

Yo, what up, what up, what up? Nice to see you on the Internets. P.S. You’re prominently featured in some of the rough footage from Mpls. Prepare yourself. — Butler

He is referring to the concert footage from the Walt Mink reunion show at the Triple Rock, where I was standing near the stage and rocking the hell out. So, when the documentary about Walt Mink is finished (or they just throw some show footage on You Tube) you will be able to see me sweaty and throwing the horns (or whatever embarrassing thing I was doing).

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Dating Could Be Worse

I just read this article from the Washington DC City Paper.

Women inclined toward me thought he was a squarer Ned Flanders, and women inclined toward him thought I looked like a child-molesting garbageman. Between us, we had most of the field covered.




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Wait A Minute

That guy last night had nothing to do with the television show Millenium. WHAT A RIP!

The show was really rockin’. I didn’t know most of the songs because Frank Black has put out like six or a million since the last one I bought, but hey, there’s nothing wrong with hearing new stuff.

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Shows To See

Ignoring the ones that conflict with my Wednesday and Thursday evening classes, I could go see all of these shows

Friday, November 10 7:00 PM The Whole The Alarmists with Love In October and Friends Like These
Sunday, November 12 First Avenue 8:00 PM The Decemberists
Saturday, November 25 Varsity Theater 8:00 PM Haley Bonar
Wednesday, November 29 First Avenue 8:00 PM The Black Keys
Saturday, December 02 First Avenue 8:00 PM Doomtree
Tuesday, December 05 The Entry 8:00 PM Shapes and Sizes
Tuesday, December 12 First Avenue 7:00 PM El Vez
Thursday, December 14 First Avenue 6:00 PM Gogol Bordello
Saturday, December 23 The Entry 5:00 PM Heiruspecs

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Mole mole mole mole

I went down to the second floor of Coffman to visit the kitchen where a nice Mexican lady was preparing mole. She was grinding the ingredients with a Metate y Mano — a hunk of basalt like a rolling pin and another hunk like a small concave table. She conversed with a girl from La Raza (the student group hosting the mole workshop), but my poor command of Spanish left me mostly confused. I would catch words like Maize and canela, but most of the instructions were way beyond my understanding.

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Just Another Manic Thursday

Therapy, work, Physics lab, then a Photography midterm followed by two or three hours in the lab. That was twelve hours.

Oh my goodness!

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