The Wizard Shot The Food

jessepmullan: fuck, I wish they had Gauntlet for money
Zach: that’s a good idea heh
jessepmullan: OMGZ that would be amazing
jessepmullan: you play Gauntlet, and you really win all the gold that you collect
jessepmullan: like 1000 gp to a dollar
jessepmullan: or something like that

What? I don’t see you posting anything funnier.

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Getting Closer

underwood_legs_1910s.jpg

I’ve been trying to find the right way to juxtapose a lady with a computer (and, for that matter, booze, a cigarette, a bible, a flag, an eagle, a dragon, and some Care Bears) for a tattoo. I have been scouring the internet for such images. Maybe the problem was that I was looking for pictures of computers when what I really wanted was a typewriter.

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Mustard Gas

Cake Woman wanted me to look up deviled egg recipes for her. I love deviled eggs. So delicious! However, that much egg can have negative…effects… on one’s colon. The recipes that I found are all for 12 egg halves. That’s ridiculous. Double the recipe. Make it spicy, salty, and fatty, so the eater can’t stop eating. They don’t call them deviled for nothing.

Recipe sources:
http://www.goodegg.com/recipe/deviledegg.html
http://www.deviledeggs.com/

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We’re Here To Make Coffee Metal

I was busy getting work done, and Zach said something about “metal” and “barbarians”, so of course I thought that he was talking about Korgoth the Barbarian. He was not, he was talking about Metalocalypse, which is amazing.

We’re here to make everything metal.

Dethklok at Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvDIBcd1cNA

Zach was so amazed by the opening scene from Korgoth that he watched it like half a dozen times. I downloaded the theme from Metalocalypse and have been listening to it so repeatedly that my brain has been pureed and turned into METAL.

That doesn’t even make any sense.

METAL.

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Fuck You Guys, Anyway

God, how many times did I post drunk last year?

Zach will know why if I’m “late” tomorrow. I mean, shit. Fuck. Goddamn. There was some fighting and not enough making up, but plenty of alcoholic lubricant. I should have a garage sale this weekend, but I really just want to curl up with Gran Turismo 2 and race my way to 99% done, since they left bugs in the game that prevent you from getting to 100%. Also, I want a cigar, a big fat one that I can ash for hours while thick smoke circles my head and everything. Awesome.

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Maybe I Should Turn Down My Headphones

This is an actual conversation we had over AIM because even though Zach sits close enough to me that we could hold hands while we program, I was listening to music too loudly to hear him.

Zach: you will go deaf listening to earphones at that volume
Jesse: what?
Jesse: I can’t hear you
Jesse: I am deaf
Jesse: you know, they have been saying that for sixteen or seventeen years now
Jesse: and I have always listened to them at the same volume
Jesse: and my ears are fine
Jesse: YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD I HATE YOU
Jesse: stop fucking my mom!

Again, Zach is my boss, and I have been fired.

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Wishful Thinking

Lisa and my mom have been pressuring me to know what I want for my birthday. I don’t know what I need, but if you read this whole post you can find out what I want.

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What Do Cyclists and McDonald’s Have in Common?

Grimace!

Ha ha ha ha ha… ha… ha ha… sigh.

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I Roll Fifteens

Dice1.jpg

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Menah menah menah

Vagina’s tough!

I need to find out what song that is.

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