Maybe I Should Turn Down My Headphones

This is an actual conversation we had over AIM because even though Zach sits close enough to me that we could hold hands while we program, I was listening to music too loudly to hear him.

Zach: you will go deaf listening to earphones at that volume
Jesse: what?
Jesse: I can’t hear you
Jesse: I am deaf
Jesse: you know, they have been saying that for sixteen or seventeen years now
Jesse: and I have always listened to them at the same volume
Jesse: and my ears are fine
Jesse: YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD I HATE YOU
Jesse: stop fucking my mom!

Again, Zach is my boss, and I have been fired.

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Wishful Thinking

Lisa and my mom have been pressuring me to know what I want for my birthday. I don’t know what I need, but if you read this whole post you can find out what I want.

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What Do Cyclists and McDonald’s Have in Common?

Grimace!

Ha ha ha ha ha… ha… ha ha… sigh.

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I Roll Fifteens

Dice1.jpg

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Menah menah menah

Vagina’s tough!

I need to find out what song that is.

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Don’t Tell My Other Customers

I dropped off my bike at Hiawatha Cyclery on Friday. It’s funny how being away from it for a couple of weeks gave me a fresh perspective.

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That’s a Great Idea

Anyone want to help me form a band called “the Diocemberists”?

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What Doesn’t Kill You… Isn’t a Good Way To Try To Commit Suicide

Man survives suicide jump from bridge - Minnesota Daily

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Legalize It!

Honestly, enough with the fucking steroids already. What does it matter if a professional athlete has been juicing it? It’s a victimless crime. The bigger crime is that there are professional athletes.

Did I mention my desire to cancel the organized sports at the University? FUCK THOSE ASSHOLES. Get a job, fuckers. Also, hold some classes in that fucking Alumni fucking center if it is so fucking great already. Jesus fucking Christ.

Really, I just want to get HUGE and ripped.

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Finally A Use For All That Clipart!

I have to stop buying those terrible “1 million pieces of clip art for $1″ discs in the bargain bins at the store. That is, unless I start making sweet ass animations like this: 787 Cliparts.

(It’s not only SFW, if you work in a marketing or design department, you can pretend that you are working!)

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