Gran Turismo Crack

So Cake Woman bought me a PS2 for my birthday, and the Keathlys bought me Gran Turismo 4 to go with it. It took me a few days to get in to it, but last night when I saw that the next to the last stage of the International A License was the famed Nordschleife of the Nürburgring. I went to bed last night all atwitter after running through 3 minutes of the track. I understand that the average reader of my blog doesn’t care about the crisp graphics, the exacting physics, the graffiti on the 170 turns in the racetrack, but holy crap I did.

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What You Talkin’ About, Zach

zach: I am #1 for fucking crock

Zach is dirty.

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Who Has Two Thumbs?

Continuing my tradition of the most obscene posts possible:
Who Has Two Thumbs

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Happy Birthday To… Me?

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Happy Octomensiversary!

Cake Woman and I went out to Gasthof Zur Gemuetlichkeit today for my birthday (tomorrow) slash our 8 month anniversary. There was some sort of “leukemia benefit” going on, so we horned in on the $25 all-you-can-eat German food buffet. It was kind of nice, except for the slightly racist accordion player.

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The Wizard Shot The Food

jessepmullan: fuck, I wish they had Gauntlet for money
Zach: that’s a good idea heh
jessepmullan: OMGZ that would be amazing
jessepmullan: you play Gauntlet, and you really win all the gold that you collect
jessepmullan: like 1000 gp to a dollar
jessepmullan: or something like that

What? I don’t see you posting anything funnier.

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Getting Closer


I’ve been trying to find the right way to juxtapose a lady with a computer (and, for that matter, booze, a cigarette, a bible, a flag, an eagle, a dragon, and some Care Bears) for a tattoo. I have been scouring the internet for such images. Maybe the problem was that I was looking for pictures of computers when what I really wanted was a typewriter.

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Mustard Gas

Cake Woman wanted me to look up deviled egg recipes for her. I love deviled eggs. So delicious! However, that much egg can have negative…effects… on one’s colon. The recipes that I found are all for 12 egg halves. That’s ridiculous. Double the recipe. Make it spicy, salty, and fatty, so the eater can’t stop eating. They don’t call them deviled for nothing.

Recipe sources:

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We’re Here To Make Coffee Metal

I was busy getting work done, and Zach said something about “metal” and “barbarians”, so of course I thought that he was talking about Korgoth the Barbarian. He was not, he was talking about Metalocalypse, which is amazing.

We’re here to make everything metal.

Dethklok at Youtube:

Zach was so amazed by the opening scene from Korgoth that he watched it like half a dozen times. I downloaded the theme from Metalocalypse and have been listening to it so repeatedly that my brain has been pureed and turned into METAL.

That doesn’t even make any sense.


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Fuck You Guys, Anyway

God, how many times did I post drunk last year?

Zach will know why if I’m “late” tomorrow. I mean, shit. Fuck. Goddamn. There was some fighting and not enough making up, but plenty of alcoholic lubricant. I should have a garage sale this weekend, but I really just want to curl up with Gran Turismo 2 and race my way to 99% done, since they left bugs in the game that prevent you from getting to 100%. Also, I want a cigar, a big fat one that I can ash for hours while thick smoke circles my head and everything. Awesome.

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