Don’t Tell My Other Customers

I dropped off my bike at Hiawatha Cyclery on Friday. It’s funny how being away from it for a couple of weeks gave me a fresh perspective.

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That’s a Great Idea

Anyone want to help me form a band called “the Diocemberists”?

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What Doesn’t Kill You… Isn’t a Good Way To Try To Commit Suicide

Man survives suicide jump from bridge - Minnesota Daily

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Legalize It!

Honestly, enough with the fucking steroids already. What does it matter if a professional athlete has been juicing it? It’s a victimless crime. The bigger crime is that there are professional athletes.

Did I mention my desire to cancel the organized sports at the University? FUCK THOSE ASSHOLES. Get a job, fuckers. Also, hold some classes in that fucking Alumni fucking center if it is so fucking great already. Jesus fucking Christ.

Really, I just want to get HUGE and ripped.

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Finally A Use For All That Clipart!

I have to stop buying those terrible “1 million pieces of clip art for $1″ discs in the bargain bins at the store. That is, unless I start making sweet ass animations like this: 787 Cliparts.

(It’s not only SFW, if you work in a marketing or design department, you can pretend that you are working!)

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What Do Pirates Call Taking A Dump?

Me: I think that it is time for the campus club [ed: the bar one floor down from Zach’s office]
Zach: are we going?
Me: I’ll go if you go
Zach: ok I might dock a boat then
Zach: before
Me: you mean scuttle a ship in the pearly white ocean?
Zach: drop the coast guard rescue diver into the white seas
Me: Eew. That implies that you will be reeling the diver back into the rescue helicopter.
Zach: with guest.

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Jack of All Trades

The Best Show Ever is Out On DVD!

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I’m Looking Forward To Black Tarry Stools

Dear Ibuprofen,
I know what you’re up to. It is not appropriate for you to instigate allergic reactions and eat away at the lining of my stomach and intestines. I don’t mind the nausea, but the rest has to stop. Except for making my knee not hurt. That is quite all right, and I would like you to continue your fine work in that area.

Thank you.

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“No more gin and tonics for you, I need you to be useful tonight,” she said, her eyebrows arching to angry effect.

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Restate as x’ = Bu

My linear algebra test did not go as well as I had hoped. I know that I made some regular algebra mistakes, since one of the matrices that I produced was by definition defective. That meant that parts two and three simply went undone.


I think that if I would have had another hour I would have been fine, but I’ve lost my intuition for algebra. I’m just not fast like I used to be.

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