On Sunday, while I was wearing her shoes, Cake Woman bought me eggs, bacon, pancakes, hash browns, toast, and pancakes. I also ate the last of her omelet and a small child. Needless to say, I was stuffed.

“I am larger because of your largesse,” I said, enjoying the mild play on words.
“What? Are you calling me fat?”

This is why most of the time I only use words that my electrician uncle would get.

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I am a terrible bowler. Cake Woman and I have the same size of feet. We produced a foul series of jokes about balls. I’m going to bed.

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Paul’s Party

I lost my car, jacket, and trident.

The one on the right challenged me to some sort of drinking thing. What she didn’t realise is that someone had switched the keg out with Milwaukee’s Best Light. which might as well be non-alcoholic. All the hangover, none of the buzz. Later, she threw Jesus out of a car because she was playing hard to get.

Buddy Christ and I chilled.

I like to pick up chicks! Ha ha! Sigh. No one likes puns.

Thanks for the photos, Paul. Paul’s unbelievably awesome costume can be found on his website.

Paul and I worked together to engineer a sequence of events ending in one sorority girl putting her hand up another sorority girl’s skirt. Go Team Kickass!

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Happy Halloween!

This is what I remember from Saturday night.

Lisa was a vampire cow.

Stan had a duct tape based costume and was a martian type person.

Cake Woman had a wondrous cape and a big cock:

Accusations have been flying around that I got terribly drunk and caused a scene. For the record, I did not get terribly drunk, I got wonderfully drunk and I rule at foosball.

“You need to drink some water, Jesse”
“If I drink water, can I have more beer?”
“Yes, fine”

Then I drank a liter of water in one long pull. A lot of it went on my shirt, I think.

“Give me more beer.”

later, I was shoeless in Anoka

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Where Are My Shoes?

I woke up in Anoka this morning and my shoes were nowhere to be found.

I’m going bowling.

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Don’t make me drink all this fucknig beer by myself. I’ll do it!

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Dear Hot Civil Engineering Student

Thank you for giving me a ride home. I hope that you had a good time. Should I have asked for your number or perhaps given you my email address? Sigh. Well, if you get this message (no), at least you can know that I thought that you were super cute and stuff.

Note to self: uh, I got nothing.

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Oh Snap!

Snap! Pizza and Ice Cream
2851 Johnson Street NE
Minneapolis, MN 55418
(612) 788-9800

Snap! Northeast Minneapolis Minnesota

We ordered pizza from Snap! in Northeast Minneapolis. The pepperoni and green olive pizza was a little overcooked on the bottom (and tasted too much like flour). The veggie pizza was perfectly cooked but the sauce was a little bland. I think that we expected a little more flavor from a side project of the people who brought us the concentrated deliciousness that is Pop!, but on the other hand, it was the day after I saw them open for the first time.

I’m just glad that we don’t have to order from Papa Johns anymore.

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Eat More Peeps!

Still life with peeps.

I’m still averaging less than two posts a day. Over the course of my life. Whatever, these are awesome posts!

You’re a handsome devil, what’s your name?

I need a shave, a haircut, and two bits.

The foosball table is way more playable with some braces. However, even bracing the other side too won’t fix the dead spots. Oh well, that’s what tilting the table is for.

Just remember: spinners aren’t winners!

I guess this is a “pump and dump” night. Yes, that’s a breast milk joke. I went there.

The slogan for Saturday will be “contributing to the deliquency of mothers.”

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Cake Woman’s Second Birthday

Cake Woman came over last Thursday for a mini-birthday celebration with me and the quasi-fam.

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