Paul offered to redesign this site.

Paul: ooo! you should post that i’m going to redesign it and you want reader input!
Paul: even if it’s just me who gives input
Paul: ha ha
Paul: liquid or non-liquid?
Paul: fixed-width?

Make some comments.

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I’m 30!

Time to jump off a bridge! I’m not nearly drunk enough, no matter how much I pretend to be sober.

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I’m Gonna Flip Out Like A Ninja

I’m Gonna Flip Out Like A Ninja and you should flip out, too.

I only invited two people to come hang out today, and both declined. Nonetheless, Pizza Luce block party, followed by random meandering drunkeness. Rumor has it that Paul will not be drinking. For shame!

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What should I do tonight?

I might see Kung Fu Hamlet at 5:30 because the scene that I saw during the Scrimshaw show was hilarious. After that, uh, I got nuthin’. Well, I saw an open invitation that a friend of mine put out, but it is probably closed to me. If you have any ideas, let me know. I deliver fun and beer in mass quantities, or just fun. Or just beer. Take your pick.

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Yesterday when I called Cake Woman she said that I should call her after I got off of work and got myself all pretty. This process involved me changing into the brown t-shirt that shows off my man boobs and massive pipes. I didn’t even change my jeans with the red DaVanni’s pizza juices on them. We had a potentially full evening ahead of us, with as many as three fringe shows and a coworker’s going away happy hour on my mental schedule. I called a little later than I had expected, and Cake Woman said that she would be ready in twenty minutes.

For some reason I believed her.

I drove slowly over to her place, then came up to find her in a cute dress with a towel on her head. A dress?

“Don’t worry, I just have to do my hair.”

And her makeup? When did Cake Woman become an actual girl-type person? Instead of punk rock chick chic, she looked, well, there was still the septum piercing, loads of hot tattoos, red Cons, and non-matching socks, but she looked more dressed for picking up dudes (or chicks, as far as Cake Woman goes, it could really be either) than for rocking out. For the record, we rocked out anyway.

Approximately sixty hours later we went downtown, having missed our window for dropping in on Emily’s happy hour. We ate at Brits because it was reasonably close to the venue, but our waiter actually went to England to pick up some scotch eggs and made us late. Since we missed the first two possible fringe shows, we totally could have made it to the happy hour, and then everyone could have met the infamous Cake Woman. Good times.

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The K Stands For Awesome

I will admit it — I find it a lot easier to listen to mp3s that I know that I will like, but in my most secret heart of hearts I will always be a Radio K boy.

Zach lays down the law

So, yeah, the Current came on the scene like a splash of cold water in the face, and I wanted to like it — I wanted to take it into my arms and ears all day every day, but I’ve been hurt by radio stations before, so I was wary. Then, the kiss of death, an awful, horrific morning show that made me want to crawl under my bed and slide into a deeper coma. Eventually I got mp3s to play for me in the morning, and I didn’t look back. Okay, don’t tell Zach, but I listen to the Current in the car sometimes.

I’m really surprised that we get anything done at work at all

When Gabe announced that he was leaving and his position would open up, I was at odds with myself over pursuing the position. Cooler heads prevailed and I did not seek it at all so that I could continue being a full-time student. They hired Zach, the programmer who Paul and I had replaced together. At first I was wary and hesitant, but the day that I moved back into the Web Programming Office and he fired up Radio K, I was sold. Zach had been a DJ, that position that I had held only in my most feverish of dreams.

In any case, we have settled into a nice routine. One or both of us plays the stream and we both listen eagerly, occasionally scribbling down band names on post-it notes. Folk Uke, the Spinto Band, Carolyn Mark, and more and more and more. Zach is a troublemaker, so he issues a challenge to each DJ: alliteration, rhyming, crazy words, metaphors, and a pile of other weird things for them to say in their breaks. We are working on a set of DJ Bingo cards, too, with spaces for dead air, the mention of our names, whether or not I have a crush on the DJ (I love you, King Kwong), off topic rambling, etc. When I fill up two cards I will consider putting together a web app to generate random distributions so the whole office can play. We almost have Paul listening, too.

Anyway, tonight I have a happy hour that I’m late for, then I am actually going to meet Cake Woman for Fringe Festival awesomeness, and maybe a Maibock, since she has a secret cache of the devil’s own drink. I’m hoping to see “Man Saved By Condiments,” since Cake Woman is a MST3K fan (and so was I). Maybe the Scrimshaw business later (’cause that’s the way I roll, yo). We’ll see. B10wZ up my celly if you want to give Cake Woman a taste of her own medicine.

Tonight: don’t forget to ask for chococake!

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I did actually make it to “Cliff Notes” for Dummies, and I have to say that I had a lot of fun. After the show I saw Marsha and Jeremy, which was fun, because it made the evening seem a little less like an experiment in public isolation.

I finally managed to take some notes during a performance, and here they are:
Latin Dances Shakopee
Eastern Euro Paunch
Surprisingly Wild
Narrator: Higgens From Magnum P.I.?

I might translate these notes into something more productive later, but I honestly think this is more entertaining.

Also, when I got home, Stan whispered up the stairs “hey Jesse, would you like some sake?” Despite my past experiences I came down to give it a sip, and it was actually pretty yummy. It tasted like Japan!

Then Lisa and I came back upstairs to drink and talk about a million things. I guess that I didn’t like wine until the wedding where I was staggering around with a bottle in hand. Amusingly, after the wedding Marsha told Lisa “Jesse is a nice drunk.” Yes I am, I’m nice all the time.

If you want to see the show but aren’t so eager to see a penis or vagina — sorry — lingam or yoni, just see everything except the last dance. Save the last dance for me.

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The Notorious and Legendary Dog And Yoni Show

Tonight just one fringe show, I think. “Cliff Notes” for Dummies.

So, despite my overwhelming urge to watch all 11 episodes of Doctor Who that I… acquired… I will be off in a moment, and then having a beer at Town Hall before settling in to enjoy some modern dance. With any luck, Cake Woman will be calling me and joining me, fresh from having watched the Dukes of Hazzard and heckling Jessica Simpson. It would be nice not to have to soak up all this culture on my own. I should bring a notepad and a pen for notes.

If you haven’t already heard the yoni story, I would be glad to tell you.

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Five Year Plan To Get A Date

A work in progress. This is based on a fiscal year of September to September

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This time I’m The Cool One

Cake Woman called to cancel the whole moving thing for the day. I mentioned that I had been to some fringe shows and she was like “I so want to go to Adventures in Mating!” I was all cool and said “I saw that already.” She was all “and the Scrimshaw Brothers Show,” and I was all “saw it.” Win!

Speaking of Cake Woman and her love of The State, the episode of Stella that I am watching (they are in the woods) is the funniest one that I have seen yet. I think they’re starting to hit their stride.

I have only ten minutes of verbal diarrhea left and then I have to switch to my new two posts per day limit. But what can I possibly post about? What untapped awesome is left?

I want some cake.

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