Merry Decemberween!

Well, I suppose that if I were going to throw a Winter Ale Party I would need to plan it somewhat in advance of the end of December. Too late now!

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The Keathlys made cookies last night. I helped until I got kicked out for doing things like this:
Fucking Elephants

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Semester From Hell

You all know about the fracas at the start of the semester — well, yes and no. It started with a bang and careened, seemingly out of control, for a couple of months. I went to all of my classes, I went to work, and I’m fairly sure that I even did work and homework, but really, it wasn’t until the start of November that I came out of my fog and noticed that I was attending college. No nasty comments, please, that’s just what happened. Sure, I partied the first two or three weekends, but, uh, aside from making out with some girls six to ten years my junior (which, honestly, wow, yes, please) and getting the sort of drunk about which I used to write corridos (see! I went to my Chicano Studies class after all!), not a lot came out of that. I got a number or two every weekend until I noticed that I didn’t call most of them, and the ones whom I did call either had boyfriends or could hear me falling apart when I called them.

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Think Globally, Fuck Locally

“Okay, so, oh my GOD Gogol Bordello was the most amazing show ever,” I exclaimed with only a modicum of hyperbole.
“Oh yeah? What happened?” Zach asked incredulously. Zach has been to some excellent shows (MAN MAN: HOLY SHIT) and — in fact — invented the word amazing. He says it all the time, so now I do, too.

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Stuff On My Cat

Zach has been sending me pics from all afternoon, but I think this one goes too far:
Stuff On My Cat

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Dear Bowling, I Missed You

The SERC meeting was held in Goldy’s Gameroom today, so I bowled a game with Laura and Christine. In true LOST fashion, my score was 108. I hadn’t bowled since I hurt my knee this summer. I bowled a second game by myself and by the end I was smiling and jumping around, even though my score fell. I think that I might get a ball and shoes after all — you know, when I graduate.

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What’s brown and stains the kitchen?

I spent like two days making the mole for my Chicano Studies class. I brought it to the potluck and was declared an “honorary Latino” by my professor, so I think that’s a good thing. I finally got to trot out my best Spanish line: “Mi estómago habla español mejor que yo,” which means: “my stomach speaks better spanish than I do.”

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It must be true, we read it on Wikipedia


Thank you for submitting your single greatest question to the University of Minnesota. The Driven to Discover web site has generated a large number of thought-provoking questions, not all of which can be answered at that site directly. For assistance with your particular inquiry, the Driven to Discover team has forwarded your message to our office, the University of Minnesota Feedback Service.

According to several different web sites, the stadium will cost an estimated $248 million dollars. For more detailed information about the projected costs of the stadium, you may wish to contact the Capital Planning and Project Management office directly at:

(248 million U.S. dollars) / 50 000 students = 4960 U.S. dollars per student. So. They could give everyone five grand, or build a fucking stadium.

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Operation Beef Hammer

Stephen Colbert is a genius. A GENIUS.
Operation Beef Hammer

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Baby, It’s Cold Inside

No, I don’t mean my stony wasteland of a heart, suddenly incapable of human emotion, I mean in the house where the furnace has magically stopped working. The gas company shipped us an enormous box that is whimpering and crying, so I think that it is full of orphans. I’m gonna make a big pile of them to sleep under.

I am currently wearing two sets of pajamas. Remember when I used to sleep in the nude? Of course you don’t, you weren’t there. But I’m sure that you’re imagining it now.

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